We had our annual Christmas party this past weekend, and it’s always a much anticipated, fun event to kick off the Christmas season with dear friends. This was our 7th party, and each year it’s neat to talk and reflect about how life has changed for everyone during the year. There are always new women pregnant, new babies born, job transitions, house transitions…We can always count on a really special evening of visiting, good food and festive drinks.
It’s fun to look back over the pictures of the years gone by, the smiles, the dresses, the decorations…We’ve all aged physically, but what is even better is that many of the relationships in the room have aged too…and that only makes them better.
During the year, we see many of these people quite often at church, or book club, at baby showers and birthdays, BBQs, and playdates. However, I realized that what separates this particular night now from every other gathering throughout the year is the fact that we are all together WITHOUT our kids! We can actually have adult conversations, make eye contact, have open flamed candles and delicate glassware out on the tables. This is only a recent development however; there was a time not too too long ago when we were all young and married or single without kids. The party would start at 8:00 and people would stay until the wee hours in the morning. The house would be a disaster, but it didn’t matter because we could sleep in until 10:00 and clean leisurely the whole next day.
Now people come earlier and leave within a few hours because there are babysitters, and nursing schedules, and early mornings with toddlers tugging at your leg…it’s a different season of life, an exhausting one, but it makes nights like these more special.
During the year, we see many of these people quite often at church, or book club, at baby showers and birthdays, BBQs, and playdates. However, I realized that what separates this particular night now from every other gathering throughout the year is the fact that we are all together WITHOUT our kids! We can actually have adult conversations, make eye contact, have open flamed candles and delicate glassware out on the tables. This is only a recent development however; there was a time not too too long ago when we were all young and married or single without kids. The party would start at 8:00 and people would stay until the wee hours in the morning. The house would be a disaster, but it didn’t matter because we could sleep in until 10:00 and clean leisurely the whole next day.
Now people come earlier and leave within a few hours because there are babysitters, and nursing schedules, and early mornings with toddlers tugging at your leg…it’s a different season of life, an exhausting one, but it makes nights like these more special.
My mother in law watched Evie on Saturday night. She came to pick her up at 3:30, and once she pulled out of the driveway, John and I sat on the couch in the half decorated room and just looked at each other. We were both thinking the same thing: it’s so quiet. It was strange to be in our house with just each other again, and once the toys were picked up and removed from the main living area, we were surprised at how “cool” our house looked. ;) “Was it really like this, not so long ago…?” Was it really this easy to get ready for a party? Why did we used to stress so much.?!” We both joked that we wish we could go back in time a few years ago and tell ourselves how EASY everything was! ;)
As we moved a couch, we found one of Evie’s little plastic “hippo” toys. We started to say “hippo” the way she says it and smiled. Then we found one of her little bows from her hair.
We both looked at each other then and John said, “But really, I would never go back to how it was.”
Yes, it is true. As much work, and exhaustion and complication Evie makes in life, there is also so much joy! She is truly part of our family, and although we definitely can remember how it “used to be”, we smile at the past, but embrace the present and look forward to the future.We both looked at each other then and John said, “But really, I would never go back to how it was.”
It’s a good lesson to keep in mind when the babies do come. I think about the future, and I have a mix of emotions: fear, excitement and uncertainty.
But a few years from now, I'm sure John and I will look at each other amongst the chaos of toys and diapers and say, “This is family. I couldn’t imagine it another way.”
I’m realistic; I know that day to day there will be many moments of exhaustion, frustration and a longing for the simplicity of having ONE child ;), but all in all, the more mess just means more blessings.
Nights like Christmas parties, or book clubs, or late night coffee dates (once the kids are in bed!) remind me also of the incredible community of friends I have surrounding me.
Life is tough. Family is challenging. But it is so SO so worth it too.
***(And I'm sure someone will need to remind me of this blog post in about two months from now….;)
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| Christmas Party 2013 |
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| Decorating for Christmas |
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| Pregos |
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| This is family |
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