Raising kids in a bubble

Evie stole my iPhone the other day. 

 She discovered how to take pictures with it.

In fact, she is very enchanted by the iPhone...and iPad...and technology in general. I swear it instantly casts a spell on her. Suddenly, she doesn't need me. She can sit on a chair, all by herself and is totally content...for as long as she has this device in her hands! 
It's so tempting to just give it to her ALL
                                           THE 
                                          T I M E 
when I want to get stuff done around the house. 



 It is fascinating; all the little apps and dings and beeps ignite my curiosity too. And the crazy thing is, she'll never know a world apart from it.  

or  life apart from  frozen yogurt...or Costco...or the automatic doors on the mini van. 

                        Or kid shows on demand....
                                or warm pink sheets 
 or shampoo that smells like peaches 
and toothpaste that tastes like bubble gum. 

Evie's life is one big fantastic scoop of rainbow sherbet... with sprinkles and a cherry on top. 

All of our kids have a good, safe life. They live in a nice community, with a stable family and extended family and friends who adore them. 

It's not a bad thing that they feel safe and happy and that all their needs are met.  But it's definitely a small little world in which she/they live. 

Let's talk about Birthday Parties. Oh, So many birthday parties. I never realized until I entered into the world of children that parties now revolve around the life of their kids and are all about the kids and for the kids (except for my friend Linsey who had margarita snow cones along side the blue raspberry ones...)     
Shrieking children covered in neon frosting, overly stuffed goodie bags, and endless amounts of juice boxes have consumed a majority of our weekends. 
Don't get me wrong, I love celebrating my friend's children.I love the excuse it presents to get together with friends.  
But Evie really loves it; birthday parties and the explosion of treats and fun it brings are also very much a part of her normal life.


FOR EXAMPLE...here is a sample of the recent events in her life:

 Two years ago three of our good friends had babies right in a row…Mon, Tues, Wed. ...boom...boom....boom.

So last past weekend was filled with three birthday parties; celebrations which included pinatas, pools, bounce houses and face paint. They were time spent with people who we love dearly. 

AND...A few weekends before that she posed with  princesses at the show "The Little Mermaid" downtown:

And then she went strawberry picking with her friends:

Shared a seat with her friend at the Rose Parade:

And went on a special date with mommy and posed for silly pictures:

Ect....ect....ect...the fun just goes on and on!

Yes, Evie lives a charmed life. 

A few weekends ago, John and I attended our dear friend's benefit dinner at the Lake Oswego Country club to support African orphans. The irony of the event always strikes me when I go to dinners like this; it is such an elegant affair. We all dress our best, drink good wine and eat great food  while looking at slide shows of starving, impoverished children. 

However, it is a great way to raise a lot of money for a good cause! (and my friend always puts on quite a successful night!) 

A rare kidless night

And it does take us out of our big, wealthy, spoiled, American bubble for a few hours and renew our gratitude for the material abundance of our life. 
I've been to Africa...and India...and some other far away  countries, so I've seen this lifestyle first hand. 

  They have a very special place in who I am, although I feel as if the American life has consumed me and that land I once visited is a dim memory.

 Despite their living conditions, I saw  joy and passion for life in the people I met, which was very humbling, inspiring and energizing. 

And although it is a memory now, I believe that it has a profound affect on how I see the world still. 
For example, I still get amazed by the quantity and quality and variety of food at Winco. 
 We get served free, safe water at a restaurant...and most of the time mine is mostly untouched during the whole meal and it is tossed down the drain. 

   BUT, the question I've been wrestling with lately is: How in the world do we raise a kid who understands that life is more than french fries and Birthday Cake?!

One night shortly after the African benefit dinner, Evie was complaining about what was on her plate for a meal. I was so frustrated. I used the cliche' "mom" line that I swore I wouldn't use.  It literally just slipped out of my mouth.

 "Some kids don't have dinner, Evie." 


However, when I said that, Evie stopped her fussing and asked, "Really? Some kids don't have dinner?"

"Yes Evie...and some kids don't have a bed. Some kids will sleep on the streets tonight."
"And some kids don't have preschool.  Or a mom and dad."


She got very quiet. I felt as if she was really processing the things I told her and a veil had been ripped from her naive little eyes. 
She actually looked a little sad. 
But she ate her food.




So, whenever I feel like her whining or complaining is getting out of line...or whenever I feel like her life is one big special sugar-laden event, I simply pause and remind her of this truth. 

Someday John and I have a vision of cultivating a heart for the world in our kids. Travel and service will hopefully be a big part of that. 

 However, in the mean time at age 3, I'm learning that it's in the little conversations where big truths are brought to light. 

Evie brings that conversation up a lot now. Like when we are getting dressed or putting on our shoes. She reminds me that some children "don't have shoes." 

I guess that next part is figuring out what we can do about it. But until then, my goal is just to cultivate a heart of gratitude in my children, a realization that they aren't better or more special or more entitled. 

 I want them to see a world beyond their safe windows.

And live for something greater than themselves.