The Same...but different

A few times this week one of the boys woke up earlier than everyone else. In those moments, I took the awake boy and held him, gazed at him and talked to him like he was my only child. I pretended for those moments that he was, because I feel like I'm missing out on those precious times by  having three at once.  

Brothers Unite!

 We do things so differently with the boys than with we did and do with Evie. Evie was our ONE and only child…the boys, as much as I hate to use this term, are more like a “collection” right now. We really try to avoid seeing them like this.  But how can we help it; everything in our life right now seems to be operating with one goal in mind: survival. If we can just stay afloat for the next two years, John and I feel like things will start to mellow out a bit. But for now, our life is very systematic on how we go about things with the boys.  

We change them together, 

feed them together, 

and put them to bed together. 

With Evie, bedtime was (and is) an extremely long process of warm milk, stories, convincing her that going to bed is indeed a good idea….etc. etc. etc; however, with the boys, is it ever easier! 
Why?! 

Because we simply put them to bed! one..two..three..lights out!  

It might sound harsh, but like I’ve said in a previous post, we put up the white burp cloth of surrender a long time ago. There are just too many babies to implement individual routines with each of them!!! However, they really have learned to adapt quite well actually to falling asleep on their own. And they survive…and are thriving even. 

 Each boy  deserves to be seen for who he is. Where ever we go, we have swarms of people staring at them, marveling at "the triplets."  They are seen as a bunch. For some reason, God wanted them to enter the world in this way, together. They will grow up close, and hopefully have a special brother relationship and bond. 
There are lots of benefits to this way, I know. But in this exhausting season, I'm really trying hard to relish and appreciate each boy for who he is and how he was created. They are each so precious. 

Caleb likes to stare. He looks deep into my eyes when I feed him and he studies my face. He has a beautiful, sincere smile, and a sensitive spirit about him. When he cries, its as if someone has truly broke his little heart. It makes you want to do whatever it takes to take away his sorrow.  I think someday he will really love people and have a lot of friends.

All is well with this sleeping boy Caleb

Levi eats a lot ;) He knows what he wants, and he goes after it. He is already rolling over from his belly to his back. He grunts, chews on the nipple of the bottle and protests bedtime. However, he also has a smile that can win anyone over. I predict he will be the first one to walk. And I can see him as an athlete, eating steaks and drinking a gallon of milk before game day. 

Get ready for game day, Levi

James really thrives with one on one time. He acts more like "a premie" than both of the other boys. He sleeps a lot more and most of the time is pretty laid back. He likes a pacifier. He startles easily. He seems to really listen when I talk to him. I think he will think deeply about life and be a determined student. 

Sweet baby James

Of course these predictions are all in fun. Who knows what each of these boys will do or what they will enjoy someday. All I know is that they each have an individual personality, and I am so excited to get to know each one of them and watch them grow into men. They surely are growing boys, almost outgrowing their 3 month clothing (and they are not even 3 months yet!)
I know one thing for sure...I will be cooking a lot of red meat and potatoes for the next few years!!!

Should I be crying...or laughing?!?

Flashback to a year ago: John and I sat across from each other nibbling on sushi while moonlit waves created a rhythmic song below us. In that moment, our biggest care was what we were going to have for dessert. Ah, yes...our vacation in Cancun...

 Sorta like last night actually…we half sat, while hurriedly devouring a soggy chicken and bean burrito. The melodic performance of three wailing 2 month olds and a toddler who just threw cheese everywhere in the kitchen created the perfect dining experience.

 Wow, a lot changes in a year. 

This is our life.  This moment pretty much sums up what is going on in the Patton household right now.

One of the things I dreaded most about my mom leaving us was having to deal with those moments when every child was crying or moaning at the same time…ALONE!  And that moment/s happened day 1…and believe it or not, I survived it. 

Because John’s schedule it pretty flexible, he told me he was going to try and limit his appointments the next couple of weeks until Amanda (our angel nanny!) came up from California on May 2.  Dealing with four kids this age alone is really challenging…it can be done, but you have a better chance of keeping your sanity if you have one more set of hands.  

So yesterday, John told me that he would be gone one hour on a lunch appointment. So for the first time ever, it was just me home alone in the house with the ferocious four. ;)  It was a rather rainy and gloomy day yesterday and I had just made Evie her peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich. Evie ate her lunch, and the boys were quietly minding their own business, and everything seemed to be going smoothly! Ha, piece of cake…I got this…

Well, I realized how quickly things can turn. All of a sudden one of the boys started fussing…then wailing…and then screaming….and then like a quickly spreading virus, the next one picked up on it…and then the next! I now had three inconsolable babies.  I knew it was close to feeding time, so I hurriedly made the bottles. However, Evie decided that she needed a diaper change, and when I told her I had to feed the brothers first, she clung to my leg and wouldn’t let go and wailed “POOPY Mommy...POOPY!!!!” 

I looked out the window at the cold rain and I knew I had a choice: I could laugh or cry. 

I kinda wanted to cry. I wanted to put my hands up and surrender and run out the door and jump off our back deck. 

But instead, I looked down at my red-eyed, miserable 2 year old and just started laughing. Uncontrollably. 

That only made her cry harder and delayed the bottles from getting made, which made the boys even more upset. But I couldn’t help it. This whole situation was ridiculous and the fact that I was the responsible adult in this room made me laugh even more. 

Ten years ago when I was a 21 year old girl playing around at the clubs with my girlfriends, this moment was the farthest thing from my mind as to what I would become.  I soon realized after I stopped laughing that this moment pretty much sums up my life right now. :)

And as John and I sat eating our dinner with the same choir in the background, we both looked at each other and I mouthed, “this too shall pass.” We know all this--smelly diapers, crying and clingy children-- is a season in life….it’s OUR SEASON in life for sure. I still don't know why God chose US for this family. But He did, and so we have to somehow make it through this season...and find a little JOY in it!

This morning at 4 am as I sat feeding the boys in the dark, I couldn’t help but suddenly be grateful for the chaos. I realized that each moment in life we have a choice on how to approach every situation: with humor and gratefulness, or misery and despair  Truthfully, I’ve wanted to dive head first into despair…but where would that leave me?! Which ever path we choose, it quickly becomes all consuming and life either becomes painfully unbearable or surprisingly joyful. 

I've started to get up at 4:00 am each day, and after I’ve fed the boys, I have a choice to go back to bed or start my day. Lately, I brew a cup (or two or three) of coffee and start my day. I read a little devotional as I sit and sip my coffee in the darkness. Today's message confirmed all that I've been feeling: 

  “Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand….” 

Hmmm, so perfect, and pretty "black and white." I'm not to worry (because it does no good or improve the situation) and instead I am to pray about everything (especially in those moments when I want to cry) and be thankful!  And if I do this, God promises me that I'll experience peace (which is actually better than an all-inclusive resort in Cancun)!

 Just what I need to hear as I begin a new day, dealing with new challenges and four needy, crying children. 

And just what YOU need to hear as you begin your day, with YOUR challenges and YOUR moments when you have a choice to laugh or cry. 

I Hope you Laugh.

Thank you God, for my precious family…for Evelyn, and my three sons, Caleb, Levi and James. Thank you for John, my partner for life, through thick and thin...Give me the strength, and sanity, and humor to make it through another day…And may we ALL LAUGH at the moments when we want to cry!" :) 

Settling In

A lot has happened in the Patton family the last few weeks!

 For one, we are all moved in to our new home…at last! And we have internet! SO we are official! ;)

 The weather has been gorgeous since moving in to our home. The sunlight makes the home glow even more. I know that a home isn’t the key to ultimate happiness and contentment, but it sure is bringing be a lot of joy these days!  I am so grateful for the space, especially after living in essentially one room for a month and a half with so many babies and people! I don’t even care that the carpet is worn in some areas or  that the plumbing has been giving us some problems... I’m in love with this home!!! 

The NEW Patton Home! =)

It is absolutely perfect for us. It has so much natural light, and we overlook the Tualatin river from our back windows.  It has the perfect bedroom for Caleb, Levi and James, and  a lovely little space for Evie and all her toys. It has a daylight basement,  perfect for crazy years of playing and destruction. ;) And the private guest quarters in the lower level is just what we needed!!! (more on that later…) 
It's in a lovely, friendly, quiet neighborhood, with kids and dogs and strollers. 

It is the perfect place to raise our family. =) God has blessed us indeed. 

Moving day was fast paced and a bit chaotic. All things considered, it actually went quite smoothly. Towards the end when we were packing up the final items, we were frantically  sweeping items into boxes as if we were escaping from an approaching enemy! Once John drove the truck across town, John and his Dad and his brother Rob unloaded that huge moving van in record time. Grandma and my mom sat in the living room with the three boys, rocking and feeding them according to schedule, watching everything unfold.  John’s mom took Evie and her two cousins to the park. My sister in law helped me unpack my kitchen. And many of John’s friends showed up to lend a helping hand. It was a team effort, but the day ended with us successfully moved in to our new home. 

Since then, we’ve spent every spare minute unpacking a box, sorting through items, trying to get somewhat settled.

A trip to Target to make this house a HOME! =)

 My Grandma left last Friday. Driving her to the airport was bittersweet. I knew it was time for her to leave because she worked so hard for us, and frankly, she was exhausted. But we would miss her tender care with the boys; she would miss them. She was here almost 5 weeks, and I got used to her presence in the house. 

However, a few days later my Aunt Robin flew in and welcomed us with a hug and an enthusiastic smile. She got right to work and reorganized my whole kitchen! 

We all have spent the past few days enjoying the gorgeous weather, taking walks with the boys and Evie around our new neighborhood. 

Perhaps one of the most difficult thoughts swirling through my head lately is the fact that my mom, who has been here since Jan. 20, is leaving in less than a week. She has been with us through it all. She arrived three weeks before I gave birth when I hobbled around, weak from the hospital and weighed down from the 15 lbs of baby inside of me. She watched Evie during our stay in the hospital which happened to be when Portland’s winter blast occurred.  She cared for me when I came home from the hospital with the boys, overwhelmed and exhausted. She has sacrificed her sleep and health so that I could heal and thrive. She helped us pack, prayed for a renter and saw us through our move. She continues to care and love my children so I can have the freedom to unpack and get things in order. 

And now, she is leaving. I will have to do this without her. 

I will miss her more than I can write. She has been an encouragement to me and a source of strength.  Her sacrifice and hard work for us has been an inspiration. I wish she could stay forever, but I know she can’t. I am an adult woman, with four kids, and together John and I must now figure out how we are going to do this. 

"Ok Levi...time for a story!"

It became very clear to us quickly that we can’t do this alone. And although we have family and friends who are eager to help us out, we can’t expect or rely solely on them everyday. We realized we need hired help.

 As I mentioned before, our house has a very private bottom level area, perfect for a live in nanny/"right hand woman!". John and I decided that this would be our best option because we could exchange some  hours for room and board. We also realized that we need flexilbity in hours. 
So, we made the decision to start looking for a new member of the Patton family for a season.  Honestly, it is slightly scary to think of someone living here, working beside me during the day and eating dinner with us at night. I like my quiet times alone, but I know that this is what must happen in order to survive the next few years. 


So we began to ask around. We posted our ad on Craigslist. Friends referred friends... and friends of friends! We had phone interviews, a few in-person interviews. We called references and did background checks. We prayed for the right person to come along, for discernment in each conversation. 

And there was a moment when we thought we'd found the one....but it turned out it wasn't meant to be. 

A friend suggested we join Care.com, so we did. I immediately started getting responses to my ad. And then one morning, I got a message from a  21 year old girl name Amanda from California. She seemed sweet and full of life. She worked at Disney land for a season, and she was really involved in her church. She was looking to move to Portland. There was an instant connection on the phone and then John and I had a Skype interview. Her references went on and on about how great she was. And so we offered her the job. And she accepted!! 

So,in about two weeks, Amanda will be packing up her life in California and driving up to join our family here in Portland...and we couldn't be more excited or feel more at peace. It's definitely a new experience for John and me, and I'm sure she is a bit apprehensive too. But this is all part of our adventure as we raise our daughter and boys. And I have a feeling that she was meant to be a part of all this too. 

SOS!