Refreshment!

My heart is so full. 

And the sun is SO bright! 
And life is better than it's been. 

 For the past month, my mom has been here and the burden was lighter and my spirit regained strength. 

AND...when my Dad came for the week during the boys’ birthday, my parents decided they wanted to honor our year of success by holding down the fort so we could escape for two nights and three days.  

TWO NIGHTS! 

THREE DAYS! 

John and I left early Wednesday morning for downtown Portland, totally giddy. We spent our days wandering.

And it was amazing. 

We wandered through book stores, tea shops, malls and strange Portland streets.  We ate and drank our way through the city. 

                                                        Just the two of us. 

We even went bowling! haha! 

It was such a precious gift. 

 It was so refreshing, for us, and for our marriage and our state of mind. 

My mom was right.  She insisted that Everyone needs a little time away. 

 It felt like our early years together. We had flashbacks of what it was like before our kids. I also realized that  if we always did these things…the eating out, the fun excursions, the shopping, it would all be so meaningless so quickly. Three days was just right amount of time to refuel our tanks. 

I came back so grateful, so happy and so ready to be with my family again.

Lee-man!

In other news, the time I did spend with my mom and dad was very special. The time with my dad was especially cherished because I really don’t see him that much anymore. We had lunch together one day and browsed a used book store, just like old times. 

James and Grandpa

Good byes were bitter sweet. I’m used to them now though. I’ve learned to grab on and enjoy every moment I have with that person when they are with me. 

But I know that when they leave, it is time. I knew my mom especially was worn out after a month. She missed her friends, her home, her life in Illinois. 

I have my life too here, and we both knew that we needed to once again resume our separate lives. 

Always a smile from my Caleb

And so after John drove them to the airport, it was us again. 

Lookin' good James!

And me, well, I feel recharged, ready to keep on going and I feel like I have a refreshed perspective. 

It was a reminder to me again that God truly loves and cares for my family and me. 

 He promised to give me the strength I need to make it through the task he has given me, that is, of raising 3 one year olds and 1 three year old, and being a nice wife too ;) 

I felt Him whisper that promise to me the day the doctor looked me in the eye and tried to convince me to put a needle in the beating heart of Caleb.  I knew that if I chose the harder road, HE would sustain me. He always supplies the people and circumstances at just the right time in my life to keep me afloat. 

He is faithful; and I am forever grateful.

Happy birthday Caleb, Levi and James Patton!!!

This is the post I’ve been waiting to write, but really didn't think would ever happen.

1 YEAR completed!!! 1 year to celebrate!!!!

 1 

whole 
 beautiful,
    horrible,
       amazing,
          exhausting
365
       days.

A year ago it was snowing like crazy. We were in our hospital room,  spoon feeding our preemie babies milk around the clock. I was completely overwhelmed and truly didn't know how I would make it to this day today. 

But here I am. Here WE are. John and I, a team.  We are celebrating with friends and family, watching our big, healthy, happy boys smash cake in their face. I am so so grateful and so so amazed and humbled by God's provision during this entire year. 

One year!!!

One day!

So much this year. SO MUCH! 

This year tested me beyond what I thought I was able to endure.

This year brought about so many moments when I simply stood in awe and pinched myself, still unable to believe that this was all happening to me.

This year brought such deep dark moments of frustration and exhaustion. 

It tested me in every way possible. 

It brought out the worst in me.

It made me realize who I want to be. 

Everyone keeps telling me that we are over the worst of it, that it will only get easier from here on out. 
I sure hope so. I really don't know what could be harder than raising a 2 year old and three babies at the same time. 
 Honestly, you really couldn't pay me any amount of money to redo the past year again. 

I look forward to waking up tomorrow and starting year number 2 with my beautiful family. 

The boys are really coming into their own. 

Caleb  delights in people; he always has and he always will, I believe. 
He also enjoys opening all the cabinets in the kitchen, pulling everything out on the floor and diving head first into freshly laundered clothing. He has the most carrot red hair I’ve ever seen on a baby, and he gets around in his little army crawl. He always has a smile for everyone. 

Levi is the gentle giant. For as much as he eats and as heavy as he is, he still likes cuddles from soft objects… and women. ;) He is so annoyed by baby food and prefers to chew real, meaty food. He’s the first one to start dancing whenever their is a rhythmic  beat and he will let you know if there is a problem. In fact, the whole house will know if Levi has a problem.  He is pulling himself up on anything stable and has full command of the house. I predict he will be the first one walking in a few months.

And then there is James. James is truly a mama's boy. His little bean pole legs crawl rapidly across the wood floor as he cries forlornly, “mamamama” He is most content just being held; he clings on like a little koala bear. He is a picky eater. If a texture or flavor surprises him, he immediately spits it back out of his mouth. He enjoys chasing balls around the kitchen and getting into mischief with Levi, especially when it comes to climbing the staircase! He hates getting his face wiped. He is always delighted by an object with wheels. 

Even though this blog post is focusing on the boys, I’m going to touch on Evie too. She has also come a long way in a year. A year ago she was still very much a diaper wearing, barely talking toddler. 

Now, a year later, she is a potty trained, social butterfly who enjoys school, her friends and doing art. I know it has been a tough year of transition for her as she slowly learns what it means to be a big sis of three brothers.

We had a joyous celebration today. My Mom and Dad both flew in from Chicago to partake in the festivities, which was very special.

We had a party in a gym. There were hot dogs, and face painting, and frosting, and laughing. We were surrounded by friends who have supported, loved and prayed for us throughout this long year. It was the perfect way to end this year and begin the next. 

There is so much I want to say that I just can't put into words. 

Honestly, I am tired,  so I will end here for now. =)

Happy birthday to my three sons, Caleb, Levi and James. I love you all more than I can say. 
Each of you is my favorite 
and I can't wait for year number 2 with you crazy fellas. 

xoxox mama