It's One Thing after Another...6 week update

The past few weeks have been frustrating, not due to fussy babies but because someone in this house always has an ailment or illness. With so many people living in such close quarters day after day, germs just get passed around...and with broken sleep cycles, immune responses are not as strong. It all started a few weeks ago when John and my in laws woke up with a stomach bug, I had mastitis, my Grandma was dehydrated and thus sick, and Evie sounded like a barking seal. We were a sorry group of people walking around here. Evie ended up having a really bad cold, which traveled to her ear causing an ear infection. Inevitably, my mom got her cold and she's been suffering with it for over a week now. It's a wicked cold, burning her lungs and causing her extreme exhaustion. She keeps trudging onward though, working and taking care of the babies despite how she feels. However, I think her lack of sleep is prolonging her healing.
Yesterday I went to the doctor because after  almost 6 weeks of healing, my incision from my c-section seems to be infected. Thus, another round of antibiotics for me. Then this morning, my grandma expressed that she thinks she's getting a head cold.
And the cycle keeps going.

I anticipated many hardships during these first few weeks, yet I seemed to overlook all this! We all try to take care of each other, insisting that the weakest one rest or go to bed early. However, I'm really ready for everyone to just feel normal again!

Speaking of feeling normal...I was able to take Evie out -just the two of us- a few mornings this past week. When I was with her, it almost felt as if the boys were all a dream. We fell back into our little routines and Evie was thrilled to be with "just mommy." I also wondered why I ever thought having one child was so difficult! ;)

Spending some time with Just Evie

We are in this transition limbo right now too. The move is happening in a week and a half, yet it's difficult to pack up because we are still very much living in this house. We are 90% certain we have a renter for our house!

And, my Dad is flying in tonight to finally meet his new grandsons! He just started a new job so he really doesn't have any vacation time. Therefore, his trip is going to be very short. He will fly in late tonight and leave first thing Sunday morning. Evie expressed that she is very excited to see grandpa.

So we carry on...feeding and taking care of the children while trying to take care of ourselves. Again, we feel so very blessed by the love and support of our community in all this.  The meals have been a huge blessing to us...and we truly can feel everyone's prayers and thoughts during this period of transition.

3-7-14: One Month update

3-7-14

Today there was sun!!! And today my mom and I took a walk, each with a stroller and a baby.
  James and Caleb had a good time in the fresh air ( I know my mom and I did too!)  Levi had to be left inside, but next time it's his turn. Yet another aspect of being born a triplet: taking turns.
I have to say that the flowers and crisp spring air renewed my spirit.

Today the boys turn one month old. We like to joke and say, "they haven't even been born yet" because their actual birthdate is March 9 (if they were one baby) We joke about it because it's such a ridiculous thing to say because these boys are growing!!! I looked in the crib this morning and gasped because they have changed so so much in a mere four weeks. They definitely don't look like premies. They were weighed on Tuesday and they are all way over 6 lbs!

James, Levi and Caleb: No premies here!

They have been eating really well and have filled out. Their eyes are open more...and they are using their lungs more too! ;)  A lot has happened in the last month actually,which is hard to believe because it seems like all we do is feed babies. :)

 IN addition to my mom being here (who has been helping us since Jan 20) my wonderful grandma flew in last Saturday. We like to call her "the baby whisperer". She raised 5 kids and 13 grand kids and now has 4 great grand kids. She is amazing, and her presence here has kept us all reasonably sane.  We have a good rhythm around here in regards to feeding schedules and sleeping/wake schedules. With four adults in the house, everyone gets a chance to sleep and this whole thing is working.

Baby Whisperer

For now, there are moments of calm and peace in the house. I even got to go to Bible study this morning with Evie, and I felt somewhat normal. However, this would have been impossible without two moms at home taking care of the fellas. :) It was nice to be with just Evie again and do something that used to be apart of our weekly routine.

There have been many sweet moments this past week.  There are four generations of women in this home (poor John!).  My mom, Grandma and I sit  a lot feeding babies, laughing and talking about many things. It even gets funnier when we each have a glass of wine at the end of the day. :)
I really am savoring these precious moments together. My Grandma and I are usually up early together and we get to sit in the dark for a few moments, sip a cup of coffee and talk about life. She is and always has been such a special person in my life. I feel so lucky that I get to share my children with her and she can experience being a great grandmother.

Evie and Levi with their Grandma and Great Grandma

Grandma love

On a completely different subject, the move is getting closer and closer!!!  John is heading this whole thing up, and he is working around the clock it seems getting things in order. A portable pod arrived on our driveway yesterday and it is already somewhat filled. I am so looking forward to getting everything moved and set up in the new house. The space will be a dream come true. The areas in this house just seems to be getting smaller and smaller as the boys get bigger and bigger! 

Here we go!!! Packing up the house! 

And...Evie had her first haircut at Little Clippers in Lake Oswego. That place is amazing... truly a hair cutting utopia for kids. They get to sit in  little cars, hold ponies,watch movies and enjoy a play area. Evie really wasn't a fan of the actual "cutting part" but she sure loved being with JUST mommy and daddy. It hasn't been just the three of us in a very long time. She was a happy little girl.

Before

A little sad

Done! :) 

                Well, ONE MONTH DOWN....a lifetime to go!

Transitioning to our New Life

It's March, and a little over three weeks ago, my life changed forever...again. There have been many events in my life-in any person's life- which make us pause and consider the absolute, life-altering, forever  change that has occurred. 

For me, these events have involved "adding people" to my life. I have to say, the first life- altering event was marriage 9 years ago. Although wonderful and rewarding and definitely something I wanted and chose to do, suddenly my life was no longer my own. Not only did my name change, but my identity as well. I was now a wife. It added responsibility to my life, and required me to consider someone else other than just myself.  

The second event that changed my life-our life- forever was having our first child Evelyn Grace. Again, although she added so much joy and purpose to our lives, our plans and agendas diminished. 

I suddenly became a mom.  

And now, obviously the birth of our triplet sons is the next life-altering event which brings up all these same feelings again, of trying to figure out a new normal while grieving and processing the change from our former life.  

Someone asked me the other day what was the hardest part about having our triplets so far, and I quickly answered, "the loss of freedom." Yes, having one baby made me feel the same way, but soon I got a routine and rhythm down that allowed me to strap her easily into the car, and she and I were always out and about. No, I couldn't have coffee dates or lunches with friends as I did before...pedicures and hair appointments had to wait until I could find someone to watch her, but I could stroll her around Target and walk around the neighborhood.  I do admit that I remember using the word "trapped" to describe how I felt having a newborn.  

Now, with three newborns the feeling is even more so. 

 The only logical thing to do right now is stay cozy in my house...day after day after day right now...

 I'm not sure where the month of February went. Each day mixed into the next and suddenly we have three week old boys. 

Some moments I start to panic: Will I ever leave the house again?! 

This is my new life. It's more complicated, more work and way more sacrificial  than I ever imagined.

However, I have learned that adding people to my life also adds an abundant amount of joy too. There have been moments when John and I have admitted to each other that we miss our family of three. But I reminded John that when Evie was born, we said we missed our family of two. With any significant change, there is a period of transition, of trying to figure out a new normal. We are definitely in that transition period. 

I know what I'm going through right now is a slow process of transformation. My former self is being chiseled away slowly as I realize and try to make sense that my life is no longer my own, again. I mourn the loss of that. I do. 

I have  hope though, a hope that someday my life will somehow have order again and that it will feel normal to be this way. I know it will take time. I know that I must focus on one day at a time. 

John and I sometimes talk about the things we will do 20 years from now. We dream about the places we will go again and the freedom we will enjoy once again. Somehow though, I have this deep feeling that 20 years from now we will be sitting quietly at our kitchen table and say, "I miss our family of six." We will be "suddenly two" and perhaps our new found freedom will actually seem like a loss.

 So I'm doing everything I can to embrace this period of transition, to hold on to these moments even when they are tough. I pray that I am able to see beyond this, to view this period as a rapidly evolving season. 

I pray for patience, for peace and joy. I pray that friends will be able to see my divided time and not forget about me. I pray for sanity among moments of chaos, and a marriage that stays strong even when things are less than romantic.

 I pray for many things, but my most frequent prayer is that I never lose sight of what a blessing these three boys are and what a gift has been granted to John and me to raise them.

Business Mode

Another week has gone by and the boys are two weeks old now. Not much changes in the Patton household these days. I don't leave the house except for doctors appointments. But each day really does get filled.

There are moments of peace and solitude...and then suddenly, everyone wakes up or comes in the house together and there is instant chaos.
But good chaos.
There are usually friends coming and going, and talking and baby holding... and Evie jumping around in the middle of it all. These are the moments that I try to relax and let go of rigid schedules or agendas and just enjoy the company and conversation.

However, I realized an important lesson this week about having triplets: If I want to get anything done quickly and efficiently, I have to execute some type of systematic, semi-orderly, machine-like way to do it. I like to call it being in "business mode."

I gave the boys their first bath this week.  I set up the bath chair on the kitchen table, put on the little portable heater and took out three washcloths, three towels and set down a little wash bucket filled with luke warm water and soap.
I started with James. Undress, dip, scrub, wrap, diaper, pass...Next!
                      Then Levi: undress, dip, scrub, wrap, diaper, pass...Next!
                       And then Caleb...oh sleepy Caleb (for once)...Sorry Caleb...when you are a multiple, you get cleaned with the rest of them, tired or not. Undress, dip, scrub, wrap, diaper, pass... 

Poor Caleb

They all screamed while I bathed them, but I was a machine...with a focus and goal: clean boys.
I think it helped that this wasn't my first time bathing an infant. I remember with Evelyn I spent probably 30 minutes giving her her first bath....with the boys, it was probably 20 minutes total for all of them.

James

Levi

Caleb

 I think that this is how it will have to be throughout their childhood. Things will have to move along...they will have to move along. Business mode will be necessary in order to accomplish anything.

Right now as I write it is late afternoon. Everyone is napping, except me. I am not in business mode and it feels twice as good to just let go and absorb the stillness that is around me.
Perfect,
      unscheduled,
                 lazy
silence.

Coming Home: The first week

Has it really only been one week since our boys were born?!

In some ways, it seems like a lifetime already. Our days in the hospital were a whirlwind. Between the three hour around the clock feeding schedule, doctor visits, and healing, sleep became something of the past. The irony of the hospital is that it is supposed to be a place of healing and rest, but it is anything but that.

 So we came home Tuesday afternoon, exhausted.  However, all things considered, everything went  smoothly. As Portland's "Winter Blast 2014" raged on outside, the five of us stayed warm and cozy in our little room.

Tuesday morning we packed up our belongings. We filled out paperwork and the boys had their final doctor checks. The doctor came into our room and informed us that James' body temperature was reading low, thus it was affecting his heart rate a bit. Because he was premature, the doctor wanted to play it safe and keep James overnight for monitoring. He ended up coming home a day later, and it was kind of nice to start out having "just twins." :)

We arrived home late Tuesday afternoon to my mom and Evie waiting anxiously at the door. They made a huge "Welcome Home" sign, and Evie was excited to see "the brothers."

Welcome Home brother!

The past week at home now with triplets and a two year old have been all consuming. The around the clock feedings are draining. I feel like all we do is feed and then wait for the next feeding. Feedings, which happen every three hours, have to be a finally tuned operation with all hands on deck. We need people to change diapers, swaddle, warm bottles, feed babies, burp,  and reswaddle...while this is all going on, I have to nurse them all and pump. Yes, I do feel like a dairy cow.

Moo

 One of the wisest decisions John and I made though was to hire a night doula four nights a week to care and feed the triplets while we sleep. The first night she came, she totally reorganized our house so that we could function efficiently.

One of the hardest parts is watching Evie try to make sense of everything going on.  She seems to get excited about her brothers but at other times, like when we are all feeding the boys, she will sit in the middle of the room and just scream and cry for "my mommy", "my Grandma", "my Daddy." It's heartbreaking and draining all at the same time; but we kind of all look at each other with a baby in our hand and we really don't know what to do for her. Our hands are tied. I know it's all a normal part of an adjustment for a 2 year old, and I do believe that she will eventually get used to her new family. But the process is gradual, and I have to remember to have patience with her.

Taking a snooze

Our relationship has understandably changed as well. She clings to Grandma and Daddy more than ever, and she seems to be a little aloof from me. It makes me sad because it was her and me everyday for 2 years; but I understand that she sees me consumed by other babies and she is probably wondering where she fits in during all of this. My hope is that we can establish a new normal in regards to our relationship. She will always be my little girl, my only girl.

Eating soup while the brothers sleep

We took the boys to their one week doctors appointment, and everyone is doing really well. James' body temperature is still a little lower than they would like it to be, but overall there is nothing permanently wrong with him. James and Levi have gained weight and Caleb's has remained the same.  John was the one who worked really hard strapping the boys into their seats, loading them into the van, unloading them at the hospital, clicking them into the triple stroller and then wheeling them up to their appointment. Let me tell you what a sight we were...everyone who passed by us stared at us, some with awe, some with delight and others with pity. It was truly a sight I will never forget, watching my husband wheel his sons down the hall.

And... as if my husband didn't have enough on his plate, he didn't forget Valentines day. As we sat around feeding and burping babies late on Valentines night, we thought about the previous years of fancy "wining and dining"...one year he took me to an art museum for a wine tasting event, another year he cooked me fancy pasta alfredo with scallops. This year, our Valentine's day was spent feeding and burping our babies. In a weird way, I almost think that this year was the most romantic one of all. Because it's real life. It's our life together at home.

They're here!

I already love them. My boys, Caleb, Levi and James. John and I are sitting in our room at St. Vincent hospital right now during Portland's "Winter Blast 2014." Next to us are our three sleeping boys, so precious, so perfectly made.

 I feel like I'm floating around in some kind of dream still; everything seems so surreal. On Thursday, Feb. 6, a rare blast of snow slammed into Portland creating panic and treacherous driving conditions. I sat on our couch most of the day, extremely pregnant and anxiously awaiting the next day. My wonderful husband prepared for the worst. He braved the whipping snow and freezing temperatures to put chains on our car wheels and dig out a pathway so we wouldn't be delayed going to the hospital early the next morning (and yes, for those that know him, he did wear shorts while doing it...) His preparations paid off though because at 6:00 am the next morning, while it was still dark, we packed our car and drove off in the early silence, ready to have babies.

We entered the labor and delivery unit and were greeted by doctors and nurses who were excited about our arrival. Right away the operating preparations began: I changed into a stylish gown, got my IVs and tracked  the babies' heartbeats.

My doctor came into the room and greeted me as well as my regular OB/Gyn, who braved the weather on her day off  to help with the delivery. Finally, 8:30 arrived and I walked with the doctors and with my IV into the cold operating room.

I was shaking, not only because it was cold, but with excitement, fear and the anticipation of everything that was to come. The room was filled with nurses, each in charge of a warming/washing station in which to welcome the babies. Next came the worst part, the spinal needle that would inject me with the numbing medication. Suddenly, everything below my waist was hot and before I knew it, I couldn't feel or move anything below my waist.

Things happened quickly then. I was laid on my back, hooked up to machines and a curtain drawn across my chest. Then entered John, clothed in a white space suit and mask.
The procedure began. Before I knew it, we heard crying...and then another cry...and then a third cry. Caleb, the lowest one, was lifted out first at 9:17 am. Levi apparently didn't want to be left behind and hung on to his leg, so essentially they were born together. James was lifted out of me a minute later at 9:18.

Doctors waited anxiously to whisk them away if they had any troubles, but they didn't have to. Caleb was 5 lbs, 17.5 in long; Levi weighed 5.4 lbs, 18 in.; and James weighed 5 lbs, 17 3/4 in.  They were perfect.

We wanted our boys' middle names to be honoring to family; hence Caleb Ron (after John's father), James Gregory (after my dad) and Levi Robert (after John's brother).

It's been almost 2 days and we are sleep deprived of course, but I'm personally running on adrenaline. They have all been in our room with us, so we are enjoying getting to know their little personalities and unique physical features. They truly are 3 separate beautiful boys. They are doing so well too. In fact they will get to come home with us on Tuesday. John and I just feel so blessed beyond measure. We know that all this has nothing to do with us, but due to all the prayers on our behalf over the past 8 months. It's so obvious that their health and the ease of my pregnancy and c-section had divine blessing.

Oh, and did I mention how AMAZING it is not to be carrying around 15 lbs of baby anymore?!! Even though I have a LONG way to go to get myself back to where I was, it's wonderful being able to sleep, breath and eat a little more normally. :) Everything is a slow process, and in my mind I've decided that I'm going to take everything day by day.

Thanks to everyone for your loving thoughts and prayers. We are excited for you to meet our sons...once the snow melts :)

Tomorrow

Well, the day has come, almost. I sit here in silence, enjoying a cup of tea, watching the bit of snow flurries swirl in front of my house. My mom has taken Evie to the library so John and I could enjoy a few hours of silence and productivity. My hospital bag is almost packed, bottles washed and clothes  folded. It is surreal to see three bouncer chairs in a row...three swings...a 15 gallon diaper can.
It is really happening. 
In less than 24 hours, if all goes according to our plan, our three sons will be here.
                                 Tomorrow starts the rest of our life as a family of six. 

Overall, I feel peace, but I can't help but chase away a million fears that, like the snowflakes outside my window,  swirl around in my head.  I've come to the end of  a journey; almost 36 weeks successfully carrying triplets. However, tomorrow starts another journey; a lifetime of caring and raising three more children. How do we close out this chapter and begin the next? Is there anything that can possibly symbolize such a transition?

Well, how about one more date night!!! :)  John and I went out for Indian food last night on the east side of the city to a place called Bollywood Theatre. It was recommended  for it's unique and flavorful take on Indian street food (without the risks of getting food poisoning)

 Seven years ago, John and I traveled together to India with our church to help in an orphanage. We also explored various cities in the country such as Kolkata, Banglore and the little village in which we spent the majority of our time, Shimoga.

7 years ago...

 Even though we got terribly sick on some of the food during our trip to India, (especially John!) the dinner last night was special as we reminisced about our adventures together over the years. We both agreed that before we started a family, our talk was centered around traveling, our next adventure, and the next restaurant we wanted to try.... Now that we have a family, these places and conversations are but special memories from another chapter in our life together.

 John reminded me that "someday, this chapter...carrying triplets, raising kids and everything that it brings will be a memory too..." I know my wise husband is right, but I can't help but take a deep breath at the thought of it.

I am nervous about the operation and all that entails. I am nervous about the babies, their health, my ability to care for them and keep my sanity. I am nervous about the how much my life will change, forever.
But, I am grateful. I am grateful for the three seemingly healthy lives that have been gifted to John and me. I am grateful for family and the network of friends and community that have and will support us. I am grateful for a healthy, uncomplicated pregnancy. I am grateful for this next season in life.

My C-section is scheduled for 8:30 am tomorrow morning. I'm not sure what the day will bring but I will update when I can and I am excited to introduce our three sons.
                                    Thank you for your thoughts, prayers and well-wishes....Until Tomorrow....