Caleb

Caleb. Oh my sweet, darling Caleb boy, with his red fuzzy hair and pointy ears and a smile that makes anyone sigh. 

Caleb has won the hearts of so many people in his 5 little months of life. He was the first one born, yet the smallest. He was “triplet A” in the womb, perfectly head down, “the gatekeeper.” It was his job to keep everyone tucked inside until 36 weeks. He did his job well.

Caleb is the blob on the right

 The doctors showed me his little round head over the operating curtain first. 
“Your first son,” the doctor said before pulling him back down again.
 Levi and James were nestled together; their heads laid against each other during their development. Therefore, their heads are oval and big and manly. Caleb, on the other hand, was born with a perfectly round little head, just like his sister Evie. 

Caleb's round little head on the left

And just like his sister Evie, I noticed  how he rested his head. Always to the right. No matter what we did, he preferred the right. 

First Bath: Evie

First Bath: Caleb

Some of you know that we noticed a very severe flat spot in the back of Evie’s head when she was a few months old. At nine months, after being examined by a cranial specialist at OHSU, she was fitted with her very own pink helmet.

For three months, our sweet girl wore her helmet 24/7 in order to reshape her soft head. The good news is that it worked! However, the whole procedure was expensive and time consuming. 

And I was that mom with a baby in a helmet. 

I swore I’d never let that happen again. I mean, what are the odds of having one, let alone TWO children in helmets! However, when I looked down at little sweet Caleb sleeping in his crib at a few weeks old, I noticed the very same head tilt. 

During the next few weeks, despite my greatest efforts, I was unable to keep his head from tilting to the right. And then at about 1.5 months, I noticed his misshaped head and I had a horrible feeling that he was headed in the same direction as his sister.

 Sure enough, 5 months later, I sat with my boy Caleb in the same room at OHSU, and he was examined by the same doctor as Evie.

 After his examination, the doctor scribbled down the same diagnosis: Severe assymetical head shape. 
Prescription: Helmet.  


So we are headed down the same path. We’ve been through it once, so it’s not as overwhelming or devastating as it was with Evie. 

Out of all the chidlren, Caleb and Evie seem to have a special connection. Caleb just can’t take his eyes off his interesting sister. Even when she teases him and pokes him, he gives her the biggest smile and a full bellied giggle. Whenever I ask Evie which brother she wants to take with us on an outing, it’s always Caleb.

 I have to say, their newborn pictures look strikingly similar.

Evie

Caleb

My grandma was in town visiting for 2 weeks, and she suggested we just take Evie and one of the boys to the farmers market on Saturday. We took Caleb and Evie (we do rotate the boys, I promise). Being out and about with just the two of them was SO EASY!!! John and I both felt like we could conquer the world. Caleb was so incredibly good in his little car seat stroller that I forgot we had him at times. He didn’t fuss or make a peep the whole time. He just smiled up at me with his beautiful blue eyes.  Evie was in a good mood too. In fact, everything was so wonderful that we went out for pizza! 

Suddenly, something unexpected slipped out of my mouth.  I said to John, “This is what our life was supposed to be like.” 

But immediately after those words came out of my mouth-no BEFORE I even finished saying them-I took them back in my heart. 

Which boy would I give up?! WHICH ONE?! I truly couldn’t imagine not having any one of my sons. Yes, life is a lot harder right now than it would have been if we were a “normal” young family with a toddler and a newborn…but that is not how it was supposed to be for us. 
How dare I say what I said. 

I am ashamed of myself. 

I’m realizing that with having three boys the same age, it’s hard not to compare them to eachother. James is rolling over and kicking around; both him and Levi try desperately to stand everytime I hold them upright. They’ve been putting pressure on their little legs for months now. But Caleb, he just doesn’t have any strength yet. His legs are like collapsed rubber bands. His head still bobbles around; he is the smallest of the boys. Even as a blinking light in the ultrasound at five weeks old, his little heart showed up to be the smallest one. 

I’ll never forget the first thing the doctor said to us after he turned off the ultrasound machine that day, July 19, 2013 after we discovered the three beating hearts. 
                                   “Let me talk to you about selective reduction.” 

Selective reduction?! 

He pointed to Caleb’s little blinking heart on the screen. 
“This one is the smallest. We’d do this one.” 

My Caleb. My precious, red-headed, pointy eared, assymetical headed little Caleb. They suggested-highly encouraged us-to reduce. To put a needle filled with saline into his little heart and dissolve him. 

Although I was beyond shocked and overwhelemed and scared that day we found out we’d have three babies, never could I dissolve the beating heart that was already living within me. Even though I did say to John in a moment of panic,  “we can’t do this! How are we going to do this?!" I knew we had to. 
  The doctor went on to explain all the risks for mother and babies that went along with a triplet pregnancy. The room was spinning at that point; but I remember a peace fell over me, and I knew that somehow it was going to be ok. 

This was our story and somehow we were going to get through it. 

Everytime we went in for an ultrasound and check up during those first few months, the doctor always brought up selective reduction to us. Finally, on our last visit before we’d be transfered to our regular, high risk OB/GYN, he looked me right in the eye and said, “So have you given anymore thought about keeping all these babies?” 

And I looked him right in the eyes in return and said, “We want to keep all of our children.” 

And then after that, he handed me a book about multiple pregnancy and said, “Good luck to you.”

And the pregnancy is behind me now. We are on the other side and 5 months in already.  I made sure to send that doctor one of our birth announcement cards with the pictures of our three beautiful healthy, 5 lb baby boy triplets. 

Life is harder than if we only had one baby, or even if we had just twins. 

Levi and James (4 months) Can't imagine these two boys without their brother Caleb!

                  But I will never ever regret not giving up on Caleb. 

Great Grandma love

Summer Stickiness

It is officially summer and there is that summer-kid-stickiness all over my home.  Sticky fingers seem to touch every square inch of this place!
... dripping orange popsicles .... greasy sun blocked/ sandy hands.... plops of bubble soap from the little plastic wand....

 However,  I do love all the little sweaty baby bodies clothed in nothing but a diaper that have been hanging around the house lately. ;) 

Caleb kicking it  hot baby style

 I cleaned my windows a few days ago; they were smeared and cloudy from little sticky fingerprints.

                 However, a few moments later, they were back to how they were.

This pretty much sums up my life right now: Hot, sticky and filled with needy little people. :)

Bubble soap joy

Usually in summers past (meaning pre-kid) we'd go to the  Blues Fest downtown or buy lunch from a food cart and eat it under a tree.  We'd take Sunday afternoon walks, hike in the Gorge and play in waterfalls. We'd nap. We'd watch movies late into the night and go on really cool get-aways.
 I remember meeting girlfriends and drinking iced vanilla lattes under the umbrellas at one of those cute little tables; I still see them everytime I drive past with my mini van full of children. 

Yes Please

But, we did that.:)

Now, instead my summer so far has been filled with murky public sandboxes, 
                                                                             over crowded parks, 
                                                               curiously complex kiddie fountains 
                                                              and a small blue plastic baby pool on my deck.

                                  There is lots of Sunshine and Sunblock... 

       ...Soggy sandwiches smashed in the bottom of my picnic bag... 
                 and warm water from small cloudy plastic bottles.

Sometimes it's a warm juice box.

Plastic baby pools are the best

I often go to bed before the sun sets here; and even though I am up early everyday (5 am) the sun is already shining. I am grateful for my deck, because even though I can’t venture out into the summer like I want, my deck and all the natural sunlight of the windows allows me to enjoy it from where I am. Another reason this house was hand picked for us. 

We are in the longest days of the year now, both literally and figuratively speaking. 

 The boys are five months old and just as cute as can be. 

They are all laughing. 

James rolled over and discovered his feet. 

Caleb discovered the joy of sucking on his thumb. 

And Levi loves holding toys...and his 6 month shirts are growing tight. 

Levi the man-baby

Evelyn is slowly growing into "mommy's little helper." She talks, talks, TALKS about everything! It must be in her little girl DNA.  

She follows me around and wants to be just like me. She's interested in my make up, wearing my jewelry and really wants to pierce her ears (I told her to ask Daddy about that one) She fixes the brother’s bottles when they fall over; she rocks crying babies and she fetches diapers. I can see her growing up, little by little. We have been having a sweet time together this summer.  

4th of July was a blast too. We took Evie and  our friend’s little boy Brayden to the parade in Lake Oswego.

Sweet little buds

 There was candy to collect and so much to see. Holidays like this suddenly become so much more fun when you can experience it again through the eyes of your children. 

Later in the evening we decorated the stroller and bikes and partook in our neighborhood parade, a tradition that I’ve been excited about since hearing of it when we purchased the house! The streets were filled with families, children, babies, bikes and dogs. Onlookers threw candy and cheered. Many people applauded the triplets as we proudly rolled past.

Let's get this show on the road already!

Here comes the parade!

The gathering of the parade(kinda hard to see...)

I do soak up these hot, sticky days.  The windows never stay clean and my house will always have little sand particles on the floor; but it’s a constant reminder that this house is so full of life right now and this will be a summer I will look back on and smile about. 
                                                   A precious summer indeed. 

Taking Family Photos is like Child Birth

I’ve decided that family photos can be compared to giving birth to a baby:  you do it because you only see the (hopefully) beautiful ending result. However, the agonizing pain and chaos and exhaustion that it takes to get to that point makes you swear when you are in the middle of it that you’ll never do it again! 

It’s an ugly, gruesome process; but, in the end, the actual event is soon forgotten, and you find yourself wanting to do it again really soon. (Except for us…we are done with wanting to birth more babies…)

 Saturday was our long anticipated family photo day. My friend has a photographer she knows from Washington. He comes down to Portland every year for a weekend and he does a 30 min. session for a very reasonable price. 

Our family photo two years ago (Evie 6 months)

Photo last year (Evie 18 months)

This is his third year doing our family; last year when we saw him, I wasn’t even pregnant yet! So imagine his surprise this year when we show up with four month old triplets! He probably wanted to run for the hills. 

When I thought of taking pictures with a two year old and 4 month old triplets, I envisioned a wonderful family memory-making experience.  

We convinced Amanda that she might like to partake in this experience too, so this was going to be a blast, right?! 

 So, the seven of us roll up in our mini van on this peaceful Saturday afternoon to a community park. A bride adorned a flowing white dress carrying ivory and peach roses  passes in front of us. Her three bridesmaids follow close behind, hair perfectly pinned and heels clicking excitedly. Families picnic on checkered blankets, meats and cheeses and cold bottles of lemonade displayed in a neat row. 

A duck floats in the river. 

The winds tickles the trees playfully. 

Yes, its a picture perfect day.

Our photographer was just finishing up with a cute family of four, two red headed girls in matching plaid blowing playful kisses into the camera. Their parents watched from the side, beaming from ear to ear at their charming daughters. 

Enter our family in an over packed mini van.  

We come to a stop at the curb and out emerge a very agitated toddler, three infants teetering on the edge of losing it and two parents who are already exhausted by the whole events of dressing the clan. And then there is Amanda who steps out from between the car seats, calm and collected and sparkling and ready to be of help any way she can. 

"Ok, let the fun begin"

At first, everything started out  pretty well. The boys were all smiles in their coordinated and clean little polo shirts; Evie strutted around in her new coral dress and hair bow. John and I stood in awe at our precious family.  

Then, just like childbirth, the whole process got worse and more painful and more intense and way too ugly as we got further and further along. 

It was just plain messy at the end, and we were exhausted and ready for it to be over. Evie decided that this was the day she was going to rebel at all authority and displayed this new independence by protesting the pictures; refusing to pose, smile sweetly or wear a hair bow, she openly expressed her disgust in all of this. 

And then there were the boys. They started out all smiley and cute as can be, but soon they grew over stimulated and cranky. By the end they were all crying and spitting up. 

James lost a sock.  

      Evie had a scowl. 

             Caleb wouldn’t stop crying. 

                    Levi had a colossal belch that stained his shirt. 

Additionally, I made a horrible decision on what I should wear.  My cute little strapless dress was the worst choice possible with all the kids and small hands clawing at me. I spent a lot of energy trying to keep my top up and felt very self-conscious the entire time. 

And John, well he thought the chaos just about summed up our life perfectly. 

And Amanda agreed. 

And I just laughed because I didn’t know what else to do. 

 At the end I’m sure the photographer was glad to see us go. We loaded up our van and pulled out of there…leaving behind our triplet stroller standing alone under the shaded tree. We circled back, collected it and waved to the cute, calm little family taking their photographs after us. 

Whew. 

Glad that’s over. 

It was a quiet ride home. The boys passed out in the car; Evie sulked in the back seat because she was getting punished for her behavior. 

Oh the fun never ends in the Patton household. 

Should we do it again next year? 

Absolutely. We have to be sure to remember this period in time… aka. our life. ;) 

Evie at a recent visit to the Children's museum 

A Very Full Life

Life is full everyone! 

Very full. 

And loud. 

And obnoxious. 

And utterly exhausting. 

The past couple of weeks I have been especially low on energy, largely because no one around here sleeps during the day at the same time anymore.

 The boys are getting older. They are four months old now and they are less sleepy. In fact, they are up a lot during the day, and they can't do a lot except kick, look around, coo and cry.  In fact, all four children seem to like to try to out cry each other, all at the same time. 

Evie hasn’t been napping either.  For the past week, she lays in bed during nap time and talks to her stuffed animals.

 For those of you who are parents, you KNOW how sacred nap time is. We’ve implemented “quiet time” but that only lasts for barely an hour. 

The boys still don’t have a very predictable sleeping pattern either. They are awake and asleep at various times throughout the day still, so, someone is always up. So basically, what I’m saying is that there is no rest for the weary in this season of life. 

However, I must count my blessings that all my kids sleep through the night. The boys get up early (5:30 am) but hey, I’ll take it at 4 months old! 

The boys had their four month doctor’s appointment last week. Man, are they adorable! All three of them laid on the doctor’s table in just a diaper displaying their round little bellies, all smiling and cooing. They all got a really good report:

Caleb: 13.5 lbs; 24.25 inches,

Levi: 14.1 lbs; 24.75 inches

James: 12.13 lbs; 24.5 inches

Levi and James

Way to go, boys! Keep on eating! 

The boys have a way about them that makes you feel like a VIP. Whenever I have the three of them on the floor together, they stare right up at me. Three pairs of eyes track my every move, smiling and giggling, making this mama totally smitten. 

And we, the Patton household, are doing as good as we can in this all-consuming, energy depleting season of life. I feel swallowed up a lot.  I am always tired. I crave escape at times. The help from Amanda and John’s parents has been life-saving. Truly, it has allowed me to keep my sanity. There are moments when  I almost feel like I might lose it. There are just too many needy people who all demand a part of me…and I (we) just can’t do it sometimes. With three babies (and a toddler) somebody-EVERYBODY- just wants to be held, and obviously we don’t have enough hands or arms!  

I have to say, John and I are a team. We really are. The stress and fatigue might put us on edge at times, but overall, we work together well and take care of these kids. What a mission we share together, and I'm glad we still like each other! ;) 

This week John and I managed to bake chocolate chip cookies with the goal to walk around to some of our neighbors and introduce our family. We’ve met a couple families over the past 2.5 months being here, but we really want to be intentional with this community of people. 

This community is a very special place. Everyone looks out for each other and each other’s kids.  In the summers, the neighborhood has a fellowship event called “Wine Wednesday."

                                What, wine on a Wednesday?! Sounds good to me!

Although I was a bit intimidated by this whole thing, John encouraged me to go this past Wednesday and meet some people. So, after we put the kids to bed, we walked down the street  (Don't worry...Amanda was home!) and mingled with our neighbors. It turned out to be  great time. We met some great families and couples, and it makes me even more grateful to be a part of a community like this. 

So on Saturday, we were even more enthusiastic about walking around and connecting with even more people. We took everyone with us, the boys in their triplet stroller and Evie with her princess crown. We knocked on several doors and talked to some great people. Evie liked handing out the cookies too. However, we kept getting the same reposnse, “We should be doing this for you.” People really appreciated our effort, and you could tell they regretted not reaching out to us first. 

Lesson learned: Be intentional with people, even if it’s uncomfortable! It’s what makes a place of residence more than a place to park the car. 
And if I need a cup of sugar, I can borrow it without it feeling weird. ;) 

And finally, yesterday was fathers day! I’ve been super blessed with having a great dad AND having a husband who pours his heart and soul into all his children.  Additionally, I have an amazing father in law too who is such an example of unconditional love.  As I get older, I’m realizing that perhaps having a strong father figure  is not the norm for a lot of people. 

So, I truly celebrate Fathers day…and even though we can’t do a special breakfast out of the town, I hope John, and my Dad, and my father in law, know how much they mean to me and our family. 

And, to make the day extra special for us, ALL four kids napped at the same time for about 15 min! So, we ordered out sushi and ate in peace and even laid on the couch for a few moments! 

Yay! A happy day indeed. 

Sunshine, visitors and tears!

Wow, it's June already! May seemed to fly by! We had so much sunshine and visitors that I haven't updated my blog in quite some time!

So...here it is: 

My Aunt Penny came to visit for a week. She blessed us so much by cooking for us, holding babies, organizing clothing, cleaning and enjoying life with us! 

She is someone who always has an enthusiastic attitude about everything in life; she compared her visit to being on a cruise ship vacation for a week! Ha! 

Aunt Penny hanging out with the fellas

Special time with Caleb

Baking up some goodies 

What's the point of baking the batter?!

Smiles when Aunt Penny is around!

Memorial Day weekend, my brother and his girlfriend flew into Portland to visit. It was really neat to see my brother meet my sons for the first time. I think he was smitten. ;) Evie loved Uncle Brad, and Tara has the flowing long hair that reminded her of a princess I think. ;) 

Love from Uncle Brad

Overall, there was a lot of  admiring babies and amusing Evie. It was a week of memories. 

On saturday, John and I went to a benefit dinner put on by one of our dearest friends to support their little boy they adopted from the Congo. It was our first time out before the kids all went to bed. We convinced John’s parents that putting four kids to bed was a magical experience and they were good sports. My only advice to them before departing was this:

1. When you feel like you want to cry, laugh
2. As long as all the kids survive til morning, I really don’t care what they wear to bed or how they get there. 

We had a nice time at the benefit dinner.  It is so wonderful to see my friends on the other side of their long adoption process. It was a journey of ups and downs; but ultimately in the end they have their little boy, who is such a precious addition to their beautiful family. 

However, within a week filled with so much fun and joy, a tragic thing happened  too. A girl  I knew through playgroups and who was active in the community died suddenly  of a head injury due to a strange fall off a long board. She had a one year old daughter and a three year old son. It really shook me to the core. I’ve had a few people die in my life, and whenever it happens it is always a swift wake up call to  not to take one single day for granted. We are not guaranteed  a long happy life and I need to truly hold tight and cherish the people surrounding me each day. 

Sunday was beautiful. In fact, our spring this year was especially sunny and perfect. However, I can get kinda cranky on Sundays. I’m pretty good all week, full of energy and enthusiasm for life,  but for some reason I get tired and crabby on this particular day of the week. I think it’s because it is supposed to be a day of rest but there is no rest…ever. 

Sometimes the thought that I will never catch up on my sleep gets overwhelming, and my emotions and thinking take a nose dive and I can get kind of depressed. 

 This sunday however, we had some close friends over for a BBQ. John smoked salmon in his Traeger and we just talked over a glass of wine. Why is it that friends, wine and a perfect summers night on the porch makes everything better?! 

I truly am grateful for all the relationships in my life. But it’s funny how quickly we start to feel sorry for ourselves or take for granted one moment here on earth!!!'

How very precious life is….what a privilege to be able to spend a full week with my sweet Aunt, or a dinner with my brother or a conversation with friends! How blessed I am to sit outside with my children, and even if there is no rest in sight, how wonderful that I am healthy enough to carry on this job I have been entrusted with! 

I am also learning that being a parent can really bring about some intense emotional extremes, and I have to separate how I feel from reality. For example, on Sunday I was crying tears of exhaustion and frustration, fantasizing about just running away... ;)

but on Monday I experienced tears of gratitude and joy and a powerful sense that "this is all going way too fast!" 

Important lesson: recognize emotions as emotions. I need to learn to separate what I'm feeling from reality and recognize that I am human-not super human- and despite my ups and downs  in my mood, life is precious and oh so fragile. 

Praying for my friend's family today...her widowed husband and two small children and her parents that must face the realization that they out lived their own daughter. 

Embracing those I love, and cherishing the small moments... and all the tears. For tears mean that I am alive one more day.

Already a little teacher 

Always fun with Amanda!

Birthday Party time with her little friends! 

Evie's first finger nail painting experience! Thanks Amanda! 

Hey Good looking'...what's cookin'

Ready for the Ladies, Mr. Caleb

Oh my goodness...What a handsome one you are, James.