Life Now

One minute I was volunteering in the boys' kindergarten class, and the next minute I was getting text messages that they were going to have two weeks off from school, (eventually never to return).

SO, we are a month in to quarantine, and people may ask how are we doing?....

Well, it really depends on when you ask.

My life went from one extreme to the other in a moment; finally some hours to order my life with the kids gone at school all day...to now teaching them, cleaning, laundry and caring for everyone and everything.... and it's truly too much if I try to keep up with it all perfectly.

I've had to become way more relaxed about the order of my home. My floors haven't been washed in weeks. My laundry...dig through it to find some clean socks! 
 I need to focus my energy and attention on educating my kids. I go to bed each day truly worn out.
I know that John does too.
The two of us are truly a team, keeping the family afloat and making it work.

I've been through the whole grief cycle. I've felt physical pain in the pit of my stomach for the sudden cessation of their kindergarten and second grade years and halt to social life and leisure.
But I've finally landed on acceptance and a clear vision and determination to face this season with my very best effort and joy.

I assured my children that school was in fact not out for the summer. Being a former teacher, I began to plan lessons and art projects and science studies.

Our school has been amazing in supporting us with curriculum. However, it's just not the same sitting in front of a computer learning, and they do miss the relationships and classroom experience of it all.

At first I was completely overwhelmed. I realized that I did not know my boys as students at all. These weeks have been enlightening to see where they struggle and how they learn. It's still challenging to give them the assistance they all need at once as they attempt to improve their writing and reading.

Evelyn also is needing help as well.
And then there is the technology issues...and in those moments when everyone needs my attention and I start spinning, I simply take a step back and assure myself that I am doing the best I can and that Moms all over the world are struggling along with me.

I also want to have some fun. This will probably be the only time I will educate my kids at home, so I want us all to enjoy the experience!
I try to mix things up and add a little creativity into the day.

We spent one afternoon collecting pine cones and learning about their seeds.
Of course it ended up being a competition; Levi and James against Caleb and Evelyn.

In the end, we ended up counting over 1000 pine cones. How's that for a math lesson?! 

One rainy day we made homemade pretzels and learned about their origin as a lenten month food, representing the folding of prayerful arms. 

We planted seeds in pots; I'm hoping something happens!🤞

We take several hikes a week; sometimes we have fun leaving little nature designs along the way. 

We paint, and write and read. 

We dig for dinosaur bones and get ridiculously muddy. 

On the sunny days I push them outside;

On rainy days I push them outside. 

But, no matter what, they are all around me, all the time.

I want this to be a special season that we can look back on with good memories.
I want my kids to bond and play,

and we are learning how to "just be."

We are learning how to celebrate simply and appreciate each other. 

John's birthday!

We are delighting in dandelions. 

Yes, weeds have become something beautiful, something we spend hours making into long chains. 

                                                    It's funny how perspectives change. 

Our days at Home

My children and I have been wandering around the forests and parkways near our home like a nomadic family. 
Just as I was relishing in my new life of kids in elementary school, everything changed again. I now, once again, have my little pack following close behind me as I try to fill the days.  😗😗😗😗 
  

 I am so grateful for the gorgeous spring sunshine this week as we adjusted to life at home all day. 

I really tried to keep them on a schedule with their school work.
However, sometimes things got off track a bit. 😳

When we found out the kids were going to be out of school all of April, I had to pick up their school supplies and books. 
When I pulled up to the school, the trees in the front were in full bloom, like they are every year. I always anticipate these trees in front of the school this time of year.
 I greeted a few of the staff and teachers in the entry way before gathering my things; I could feel tears in the back of my eyes and a lump in my throat. 
I believe that my kids won't be finishing their kindergarten and 2nd grade year here, and there was a deep grief in the pit of my stomach; I mourn deeply this loss. 
Everyday I still wake up and I just can't believe all this is going on. 
However, I've come to the place of acceptance and acknowledgement that this is how life is going to be; I  want my kids to look back on this sabbatical  from school with happy memories. I am determined to make this a meaningful 2nd grade and kindergarten year for my children. 
I do believe good will come from this ultimately, and spending these few months with them will be a treasure to my heart. 
During my first week instructing them, I've already gained such valuable insight to the students they are and their individual needs and strengths. 

John and I are missing our friends too. 
Saturday  night we had a virtual happy hour with a few friends via FaceTime. It was actually a better time than I initially thought it would be. I usually do not enjoy FaceTime, but now it is truly wonderful. 

It's interesting to observe the changes in society. 
People are home.
There is a lot of sitting around on front lawns and porches and park benches. 
I see families walking and biking together. 
There is no where to go, no place to be. 
The hustle is gone, and surprisingly I have to admit that it's kinda of nice. 

Here are some of the ways we've been keeping busy during our time at home.
We built leprechaun traps for St. Patricks day....

 And searched for lucky four leafed clovers in the lawn....

We wrote in journals everyday, Evelyn enthusiastically assisiting  the boys with spelling and penmanship. 

We went fishing, although we caught nothing except each others' lines 😬

And we wandered around outside a lot, walking in the woods and through the neighborhood. 

 On Friday we had a picnic at the park.

We are enjoying the simple things.

On Saturday we hiked to Wahclella Falls. It was a wonderful morning exploring and marveling in magic and beauty.

 Being in nature like this allows me to escape reality for a bit.

 The beauty is captivating.

 The gorge is my favorite place to be, full of peace.

 We came upon so many waterfalls and interesting rocks.

 And we found a cave! John went in a little to explore it, but the kids were terrified that he'd run into a bear.

 There were a lot of chard trees from the fires a few years ago.

 However the forest was covered in green! Moss, flowers and new growth were sprouting out of the burned tree trunks and branches. 

I remember a few years ago mourning the gorge as uncontrollable flames consumed it. 
But now I see that it wasn't totally destroyed; in fact, it is just as beautiful as ever. 

And as I observed all the small pockets and signs of regrowth, a hope swelled within me that all will be well.  

Zoo Sounds

"Mom! Mom! Come Quick!"
My kids were outside this morning waiting for school pick up, and they were so excited about something.
I ran to the door, and they exclaimed to me, "Listen! It sounds like the zoo out here!"

"Camo day" at school during spirit week

I stood and listened, trying to figure out what they were referring to, and then I heard it:  a chorus of birds.
The sound did sound foreign and exotic.
 It resembled what we heard at the zoo in the aviary.
We all paused for a moment and took in the beautiful sound. "It's a zoo, right mom?!" said Caleb.
"Well, actually," I began, "that is the sound of Spring coming."
The delight in his eyes was magical; it was just what I needed after a weekend filled with dread and  apocalyptic panic of the news and of the Corona Virus.

This was a moment that broke my worried, hazy bubble and let me experience peace and joy.
Although we talked about this virus threat in front of the kids, they didn't experience (thankfully!) the same fear that my husband and I felt. Because it was detected to have infected a person in the town next to ours, everyone was panicking.
As I was making muffins this morning for breakfast, I coughed a small cough into my arm. As he mixed the chocolate chips into the muffin batter,  Caleb very casually, but very matter of factly told me that I probably had "the virus."

I was not concerned or paranoid about this virus until I went to Costco (as we usually do on Saturdays) and saw the mass of people loading up enough food, water and hand sanitizer for a month. I've never seen anything like it; the lines wrapped around the ENTIRE store!

It was in that moment when I considered that perhaps I needed to be panicking too.
Are we missing something? Is this the end of us?

When Sunday rolled around, John and I had the discussion of whether to attend church. We started to analyze our activities. Suddenly, breaking my swirling mind, the verse found in 2 Tim. 1:7 popped into my head.
"For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love, and of a sound mind." 
Should I be cautious? Yes. Should I be AFRAID and PANIC? Clearly no. 

If this is what I believe to be true, His Spirit is not of FEAR.
So, we decided to continue on as normal, washing our hands and taking more precaution, but say good-bye to the fear.

HOOP-A-THON fundraiser

My best moment for sure today was listening to "our zoo" outside our front door this morning.

Thanks Caleb, for teaching me, yet again, to take a step back, enjoy the moment, and be amazed at life.

Everything turns into a competition with the boys.
Caleb shot the most baskets at their school's hoop-a-thon fundraiser last week.
He was very pleased.  

The kids had their annual fundraiser for their school. The week was full of school spirit and excitement.
Evelyn decided to dress up like the neighborhood cat, Bob.