Thailand

“Reflective thinking turns experience into insight.” John C. Maxwell

Typically I use this space to record my life as a Mom. Since the birth of my children, my life has revolved around them. Sometimes when I step back and look at my beautiful family, I still can't believe that this is my life.

Last Christmas, John surprised me with the opportunity to go on a trip with our church to Thailand. To make the trip even better, my dear friend Emily would be going as well.
 I sobbed when I read his letter to me that Christmas Eve, a true mix of emotions welling up inside of me. "I can't do this..." I said through my tears.
"Yes you can. You can! It's a new season" he said to me.

Honestly, the thought of leaving my family for 12 days was terrifying to me. For so many years I've been with them, night and day, and the reality of being around the world alone was an unimaginable concept.
When I talked to Emily about it, we both decided that is was going to be an adventure of a lifetime and we needed to go. We were so humbled and grateful to our husbands for surprising us with such a selfless gift.

"We are going on an adventure together!" 

The trip would take off May 23; as the months ticked by, I was plagued by excitement, fear, anxiety and guilt.
I've decided to dedicate the next few blog posts to my trip. Upon returning, I jumped right back into to full time "Momhood." My experiences and thoughts would creep up in my mind throughout the day, but I didn't have the space to really reflect and record it all.

So, here is my space.

I was here.

BEAUTIFUL THAILAND!!!

  

And so, we begin.

On May 22, all my clothes were laid out on our back deck as I sprayed them with toxic bug spray. This "chemical cocktail", recommended by our trip leader, was supposed to stay in my clothing for 6 weeks and repel mosquitoes and everything else that crept and crawled.

As I sprayed my clothing, I had a nervous pit in my stomach.
 It was the end of the school year and there was so much going on, and to top it off with getting ready to go away on a trip like this had me rather stressed out.

To complicate that feeling, my kids were not making it easy for me to leave. There were several days of mourning and crying as they pleaded with me not to go. Caleb especially tore at my heart strings because he feels all his emotions so intensely. Up until the minute the Uber came to pick me up for the airport, I sat with him on my lap, surrounded by my kids, crying right along with them.
I wasn't necessarily sad I was going to be gone, but I was sad to see them so sad. This created a lot of guilt and second guessing for me as to whether going was the right choice.

It wasn't until we landed in Taiwan 12 hours later that I finally started getting excited.

Four hours later,  our plane descended over the green hills of Thailand.
Yes, I can assure you that my tears were long dried up and I was no longer thinking I made a bad choice!

The twelve of us from our church were there together to visit the safe homes our church supports. Human trafficking is a HUGE problem in this region of the world. Poverty is so deep and hopeless that often times people will sell their children in order to survive.

Most of the time these innocent children-as young as 5 or 6-end up in the sex industry.
These homes were built in order to prevent this from happening.

These precious children get to live free!

When a child is identified as being at risk for being sold, a representative from the safe home will meet with parents and chief of the village, offering to take their child instead; their offer includes a free education at safe, nurturing place.
The parents will still have the opportunity to visit and maintain a relationship with their child. Otherwise, once a child a sold, they most likely will never see them again.

Kids here are loved, educated, cared for spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally. 

On this piece of property in Northern Thailand there are five homes, about 150 kids total.

It was Sunday morning when our  van drove up to the home for the first time.  The kids were all getting ready for church. There was a lot of energy and music.

They practiced a song for us in English. One of the most beautiful things I've ever heard. 

It was a modest building, yet the joy was undeniable. The kids ran up to us as we exited the vans, curious about who we were. I couldn't help but get emotional at seeing them. My husband and I have known and supported this organization for about a decade, and to actually see the kids- these beautiful children- was overwhelming for me.

I don't speak Thai, and they speak little English, (or none at all), yet love transcends this.
We spent our time together playing games. Some favorite games were Jenga and Uno.

I amazed the kids with my Jenga skills ;) 

 I was able to bond with the boys, even better than with the girls. All my days of playing frisbee and baseball with my own sons really paid off.
Sweating like crazy under the humid Thailand sky, I was able to toss a frisbee and whip a baseball to them like a pro. They were so happy.

I pictured them as my sons. I know how much my own sons love playing sports with me, and I dedicated myself to be fully present in those moment with these boys, treating them as if they were Levi, Caleb or James.

Young boys are increasingly becoming more and more at risk at being sold to the sex industry. 

One of the things I noticed about the homes was the absolute order and camaraderie. There was such a sisterhood and brotherhood among the kids.

Meal time! They lined up, youngest to oldest, patiently waiting for their meal.

Most of the kids ate on the floor together

They did their own laundry.
They ironed their own school uniforms.
They helped with setting up chairs and serving meals.
As far as I could see, there was no complaining. No one moped around looking for snacks or food between meals.
They found joy in each other and existing!
 

My friend Emily and I debriefed together a lot as we had thoughts or questions about things we observed or experienced.

We started to marvel at the behavior of these kids!
 There were no behavior problems.
No allergies.
The house parents said there was little sickness!
The contrast to kids in the United States was stark.

We discussed the differences and came to the conclusion that there were layers of answers that could perhaps explain all that we were witnessing.
However one thing we agreed upon is that life in the United States is way more manufactured. We have access to more, so we give more, in order to do more, which creates a  need for constant stimulation.

We are playing kid music in the car....putting on movies, TV shows and giving them iPads......we are constantly giving them treats, candy and snacks....it is hard for us to just be!!
We feel obligated to constantly provide them with extraordinary experiences and extracurricular activities. 

Many of the kids happily spend afternoons sitting  and talking to each other. 

The contrast was so stark and so very real.
We came to the homes with all these huge duffel bags containing all this STUFF for them. The games and activities and treats certainly made them smile, but did it make them happier?

Were we trying to give them what we thought they needed or deserved?


 I'm still processing all this and trying to figure out...there's a lot to think about and question.

One thing I do know is that these kids were able to be kids here. It was hard to imagine the life they would have been subjected to.
 Perhaps it was where they came from and what they were saved from that made all the difference in their attitudes and behaviors.  

I'm going to stop here for right now...but I will continue to write about my experiences and musings....there is just too much to include in one post.