Beautiful Mess

I get to be in the thick of it. 
          The Mud. 
The pancake syrup.
                 The slug collection. 
The thick, messiness of life that four children bring. 

These boys, middle of the day...in the sludge, down by the river under the bridge, in the park. 
             Simple days,
                     throwing sticks into the water, cascading down the small stream...
finding
the
perfect
rocks
                 and tossing them into the water, analyzing the splashes, and vowing to do better.

These simple days, childhood days, of packing sandwiches and eating on a tire swing, making comments about the birds laughing-"tee hee, tee hee"- at the top of the oak trees.

Walking down grassy slopes,
            picking dandelions
and watching the seeds blow into the sky.

I get to be in the thick of this.
This 
beautiful 
mess.

8:30 am and we already have three outfit changes.

 7:00 pm at the park, negotiating with my children to not to fully submerge into sand box swamp because we need to go home now and get ready for bed...

She has hot dog stains on the front of her new softball  jersey right before team pictures.

convincing them that they need to finish their hotdogs and Fritos before eating their twinkies.. (?!?)

 .....sand trails throughout the house, deep into the crevices of the couch cushions, 
foot prints on the white carpet...
these are the reasons I don't have a life outside my kids and home....these reasons...these precious precious reasons...

Evie comes home from school, a new space between her front teeth. Another tooth is gone; dried blood stains the gap in her proud smile. Beaming, she presents her small little tooth, evidence that she is growing up.
John is out of town, and I realize I don't have any cash or can't possibly get to the store by night. Her hopes are set high for what the tooth fairy will bring....
Thank goodness for amazing friends and neighbors who can contribute $5.00 to the tooth fairy.

With the  stealth of a preying cat I slip into her bedroom that night, one eye on the target of her pillow and one eye on her heavy deep sleep breathing. I am slightly stressed, trying to get this job done. But alas, I succeed and make the transfer. Between my thumb and pointer finger  I hold the prize, a small tiny baby tooth. My initial thought was going to be to toss it down the toilet; but instead, I pause as I gaze at the barely visible tooth in my palm.
  I get flashbacks of six year earlier, of John and I absolutely astonished by the fact she has her first tooth sprouting.
We are beyond excited, giddy...texting pictures to family. 
And now, so fast it's gone, it's job is done.
 On to the next stage.
It's not needed any more.
And now, I can't bear to throw this tooth down the toilet.
Instead,  I put it far far in the back of my jewelry box, just so John can see it if he wants when he comes home from his business trip; but, somehow I think it will remain there longer.

These beautiful moments rushing past me, like Caleb tonight, dressed in his orange cape as "super boy" at the crowded park. Oblivious to everyone else he runs at full speed, cape flying in the wind.  His excitement is wild, real and uncontainable. He truly looks like a super boy, unstoppable and so big looking. I want him to be super boy forever.

Later, Levi comes crying to me from downstairs, blaming James. James knows he did wrong. He knows he's in trouble. And as I come down the stair case to confront his behavior, I already see him in the "time out" chair, arms crossed in front of him, that "James scowl" across his face.
I get to his level, try to understand what he did and why. I ask him to apologize to Levi, give him a hug. He mumbles a sorry and briefly embraces Levi. All is well now and James shuffles away.

It is night. I check on them as they sleep, all their daytime mischief laid to rest until tomorrow. There are small reminders of the day's events scattered throughout the house and yard.
But all is silent.
For a few short hours, anyhow, until the beautiful mess begins again.