Should I be crying...or laughing?!?

Flashback to a year ago: John and I sat across from each other nibbling on sushi while moonlit waves created a rhythmic song below us. In that moment, our biggest care was what we were going to have for dessert. Ah, yes...our vacation in Cancun...

 Sorta like last night actually…we half sat, while hurriedly devouring a soggy chicken and bean burrito. The melodic performance of three wailing 2 month olds and a toddler who just threw cheese everywhere in the kitchen created the perfect dining experience.

 Wow, a lot changes in a year. 

This is our life.  This moment pretty much sums up what is going on in the Patton household right now.

One of the things I dreaded most about my mom leaving us was having to deal with those moments when every child was crying or moaning at the same time…ALONE!  And that moment/s happened day 1…and believe it or not, I survived it. 

Because John’s schedule it pretty flexible, he told me he was going to try and limit his appointments the next couple of weeks until Amanda (our angel nanny!) came up from California on May 2.  Dealing with four kids this age alone is really challenging…it can be done, but you have a better chance of keeping your sanity if you have one more set of hands.  

So yesterday, John told me that he would be gone one hour on a lunch appointment. So for the first time ever, it was just me home alone in the house with the ferocious four. ;)  It was a rather rainy and gloomy day yesterday and I had just made Evie her peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich. Evie ate her lunch, and the boys were quietly minding their own business, and everything seemed to be going smoothly! Ha, piece of cake…I got this…

Well, I realized how quickly things can turn. All of a sudden one of the boys started fussing…then wailing…and then screaming….and then like a quickly spreading virus, the next one picked up on it…and then the next! I now had three inconsolable babies.  I knew it was close to feeding time, so I hurriedly made the bottles. However, Evie decided that she needed a diaper change, and when I told her I had to feed the brothers first, she clung to my leg and wouldn’t let go and wailed “POOPY Mommy...POOPY!!!!” 

I looked out the window at the cold rain and I knew I had a choice: I could laugh or cry. 

I kinda wanted to cry. I wanted to put my hands up and surrender and run out the door and jump off our back deck. 

But instead, I looked down at my red-eyed, miserable 2 year old and just started laughing. Uncontrollably. 

That only made her cry harder and delayed the bottles from getting made, which made the boys even more upset. But I couldn’t help it. This whole situation was ridiculous and the fact that I was the responsible adult in this room made me laugh even more. 

Ten years ago when I was a 21 year old girl playing around at the clubs with my girlfriends, this moment was the farthest thing from my mind as to what I would become.  I soon realized after I stopped laughing that this moment pretty much sums up my life right now. :)

And as John and I sat eating our dinner with the same choir in the background, we both looked at each other and I mouthed, “this too shall pass.” We know all this--smelly diapers, crying and clingy children-- is a season in life….it’s OUR SEASON in life for sure. I still don't know why God chose US for this family. But He did, and so we have to somehow make it through this season...and find a little JOY in it!

This morning at 4 am as I sat feeding the boys in the dark, I couldn’t help but suddenly be grateful for the chaos. I realized that each moment in life we have a choice on how to approach every situation: with humor and gratefulness, or misery and despair  Truthfully, I’ve wanted to dive head first into despair…but where would that leave me?! Which ever path we choose, it quickly becomes all consuming and life either becomes painfully unbearable or surprisingly joyful. 

I've started to get up at 4:00 am each day, and after I’ve fed the boys, I have a choice to go back to bed or start my day. Lately, I brew a cup (or two or three) of coffee and start my day. I read a little devotional as I sit and sip my coffee in the darkness. Today's message confirmed all that I've been feeling: 

  “Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand….” 

Hmmm, so perfect, and pretty "black and white." I'm not to worry (because it does no good or improve the situation) and instead I am to pray about everything (especially in those moments when I want to cry) and be thankful!  And if I do this, God promises me that I'll experience peace (which is actually better than an all-inclusive resort in Cancun)!

 Just what I need to hear as I begin a new day, dealing with new challenges and four needy, crying children. 

And just what YOU need to hear as you begin your day, with YOUR challenges and YOUR moments when you have a choice to laugh or cry. 

I Hope you Laugh.

Thank you God, for my precious family…for Evelyn, and my three sons, Caleb, Levi and James. Thank you for John, my partner for life, through thick and thin...Give me the strength, and sanity, and humor to make it through another day…And may we ALL LAUGH at the moments when we want to cry!" :)