Evie's Mom

Being fully entrenched in full-time "momhood", my job has me frequenting various SAHM oasises around town. These sacred wells offer the possibility of a few uninterrupted minutes of communication with polite, reasonable human beings during a normal weekday.

 For example,  there's Freddy's Playland----offering free childcare while you shop-err-do a espresso shot at the Peet's Coffee that's attached to the store....
(Confession:  My friend and I did check our daughters into Freddy's while we had a kidless coffee date one Saturday afternoon...)

or there's  ClubSport, the gym with exceptional childcare so mama can get her workout on-(or happy hour on-)...

or, if all else fails, the play gym, a magnificent gymnasium in the basement of a church offering toys and activities for tots of all ages-added bonus: a small cafe. 

Now that Evie is at a preschool in town, I am starting to see the same half- smiling, yoga pants wearing, coffee cup clutching mamas dropping off their kids at preschool Monday morning who then make the Tualatin circuit of Fred Meyer, New Seasons, library story time, gymboree and ClubSport.

 Most of the time we greet each other with a vague smile of recognition, usually wresting and negotiating with other small humans that prohibit us from communicating on any other intelligent level.
However, lately though some moms have been breaking past the obligatory eye grin and greeting me excitedly, suddenly realizing that I am: Evie's Mom. 

I feel as if I'm becoming my daughter's social secretary.

Examples of these interactions.....

Random, half familiar mom at Costco, nearly plowing people over with her overly full cart of fruit snacks, parking next to my totally full cart of irritated children:  "Oh hey, you are Evie's mom! My daughter Karlan just loves Evie. Can we set up a playdate? I'll find your address in the preschool directory and email you. Bye." 

From another woman at the gym in her super trendy yoga pants while I'm sweating like a pig on the stair climber: "Oh hey, you're Evie's mom? My daughter Kim talks about Evie all the time and loves going to the gym because she gets to see her. Here, let me give you my phone number. Text me so we can set up a playdate. Thanks!"
 (Sidenote: Super awkward a week later when I run into her again and haven't texted her...)

Over enthusiastic email in my 'in box' on a rainy Monday morning: "Hi! Just to let you know I sent your daughter Evie an invitation to my daughter's birthday party. We are new to the school and don't really know anyone but my daughter really wants Evie to come and talks about her all the time. "

Text message. 8pm. In my sweats eating a bowl of ice cream watching a "diet competition show": "Hi! What are you guys doing tomorrow after preschool? Want to come over for a playdate? My daughter keeps talking about how she wants to see Evie."

Seriously...not trying to brag or anything, but my daughter is becoming a social butterfly.

And I am getting a reputation of "Evie's Mom."

I knew she would thrive at preschool with the other kids, and I knew that she would have lots of little friends, but I didn't know I'd have to create a separate app just to try to squeeze in playdates and birthday parties for my 4 year old.
However, the problem with these polite inquiries into the social availability of my daughter is that many of these moms don't realize I have THREE two year olds at home to add to my juggling act.

Don't get me wrong, I try and really want to give Evie all the social opportunities as humanly possible...but I am one human with four little humans attached to me.
You want us all at your house?!! hehe

My friends and I were reminiscing about the days of long ago when we'd pass our mornings toting around our single child accessory, attending "playdates." Sipping vanilla lattes, we'd vent about our parenting struggles or boast about the latest trick our darling child has preformed.

One child each...three years later: 2, 3, 3, 4 each!

Evie is getting to an age too when moms are talking about signing their kids up for sports, and gymnastics, and swimming, and music lessons, and this and that and playdate number 58....and ahhh!
What's a mother to do in a world with so many potential relationships and wonderful, enriching childhood experiences?!
 How does one sift through and figure out who/what to invest time in, (AND balance three other toddlers?!)

Anyhow, I guess what I am slowly learning is an even bigger life lesson: You've got to say NO to some really good things to say YES to the great ones. I'm not saying some friends or relationships are better or more important, but there are so many wonderful opportunities, friendships, clubs, sports, experiences...and you just can't do them all...and do them WELL.

 What I do know is I'm proud of Evie. Obviously she exhibits qualities of love, acceptance and genuine care to people and that is why a lot of people like to be around her.

 She's also a whole lot of fun too.. ;) but she gets that from her daddy.

Holiday Celebrations 2015!

Its been a while since I’ve written. I usually try to get in at least one blog entry a month!…! However, I haven’t written since before Thanksgiving. I guess the whole holiday season swallowed me up this year. 

I finally took down the Christmas decorations. I love all the Christmas lights and sparkly objects. However, the day after everything is over, they must come down. There is just a stale feeling in the house the next day, a claustrophobic feeling…an anxious feeling of being surrounded by  so many things. I have such a sense of urgency to get everything packed up. 

Let's just get back to reality!...

Besides, two days after Christmas we have Evie's birthday. 

                                                                           Let the celebrations continue!

Thanksgiving was spent with John’s brother Rob, his wife Melissa and their two girls, Cady and Geneva and John's mom and dad.  Once again, John wowed us all with his smoked turkey and a fantastic feast!

Geneva and Evie and Thanksgiving feasting

Fun Uncle Rob

The boys still weren't too excited about Thanksgiving food this year....

Food comas...

Evie's Thanksgiving party at school

Then, the first week in December my grandma flew in for a weeks visit. She helped decorate the house for Christmas, including the tree. We had a great visit with her. We also had a visit with Santa. The only person who was excited about the jolly old man was Caleb. Evie warmed up a bit, but it wasn't worth paying for the $40.00 picture. 

GG and her clan

Getting ready to visit Santa!

On Santa's trail...

On the "nice" list...

Right after her departure, our lives were just packed with activity. We had Christmas desserts, two friend’s birthday dinners, fundraising events, church events, ballet performances, cookie exchanges, gift exchanges...

Evie and Brittney at her ballet show


and of course our annual Christmas cocktail party in our basement. 

This was our 9th year putting this on. Its always a good time seeing all of our friends. This year we had a lot of new people, which was really exciting and fun. I’ve gotten to know a lot of women from our neighborhood the past few months. We’ve started getting together once a month to socialize and play bunco. 

On Dec. 20, my parents flew in to spend Christmas here in Oregon for the first time ever. 

Grandpa's here!

Evie built a gingerbread house with Grandma and Grandpa

I haven’t spent Christmas with them in two years, so it was so very special. AND, my brother Brad flew in a few days later to hang out with everyone too. It has been a year and a half since I’ve seen him and it was really good to catch up. 

Christmas Eve we all went to a candlelight service at church, which was really wonderful.  Christmas day just unveiled itself All* Day *Long. We had  both Grandparents amongst the joyful chaos. It started out early with stockings, 

and gifts,

 and then more gifts, including a jeep

These jeeps don't build themselves...

 and a wagon 

and finally a basement full of tunnels and tents to explore and climb in. 

I don't know if anything can beat this Christmas.

My brother gave each of the kids authentic instruments which included a hand drum, shaker, percussion sticks and a tambourine.

 We spent  part of the evening dancing and playing along with John as he sang with his guitar. We ended the evening by having a quiet Christmas dinner by the Christmas tree, with just the adults. It was perfect. 

The next day we went to the Portland Aquirium….tried to detox a bit…..before tumbling into Dec. 27 which is Evie’s 4th birthday.

 It was a 4:00 dinner at Red Robin kind of celebration!

 It was the very first time we attempted to take all the kids out to a restaruant. All things considered, it was a success!  Levi was a champ and sat and ate like a small adult. Caleb and James just wanted to wander around and really didn't care about the whole dining experience too much. Overall, I woulnd’t have done this with any less adults, and it’s really not worth doing it again anytime soon. 

a new bike from Grandma and Grandpa

Finally, after the wrapping paper and cake were settled and the kids in bed, John and I giddily took off for our two night escape downtown while my parents held down the fort with Amanda. Hehe..yes, I was giddy. 

John and I ushered in the New Year with Moscow Mules and Dateline, barely making it to midnight. We started off 2016 with another Christmas celebration with John's side of the family

 and an unexpected snowfall! There was just enough snow and ice to cancel church, school and Evie's birthday party. However, there was also enough to build a very small snowman.

 John also took Evie sledding down an inclined cal-de-sac near our house. 

                                                                               Onward to 2016!

The Grateful Tree

Once upon a time in late August, there was a leaky dishwasher....

                 

                            which led to a slow saturation of the wood floor 
causing it to buckle.

                                      which led to tarp ...
and an obnoxiously large, drying tank 
                                                                   ...which hummed, and vibrated and sucked every last drop of water out of our floor boards...........for three whole weeks.

Then the floor was ripped out....

             along with the dishwasher....

                                  to prepare the space for new floor boards...and the refinishing of our entire kitchen...with the fumes, and the sawdust. 

                                                

So we packed up.
                                  And moved out. 
                                 The entire family.

 to grammie and grandpa’s for four days. I'm glad they love us so much ;) 

  But then, we moved back in,  back to a house with the refrigerator and tables in the living room—>

       However, one week later, it is all a distant memory because everything is back to the way it was, with new floors...(with new dents already..)

I have to say, I’ve never been so grateful for a dishwasher or fridge or anything in my whole life. The past two months have been a season of transition and an exercise in being grateful in all circumstances. 

Yes, and truly I do know that there are worse things to be dealing with in life. 

I do recognize that most of the world does not have a dishwasher. 

Most of the world does not have a refrigerator or wood floors. 

However, this whole situation was like an irritating fruit fly to me, buzzing around me, irritating me. 

It’s so easy to start complaining. 
However, complaining and being negative does no good for anyone, especially me.

Being grateful despite circumstances is really a mindset. Positive people choose to see things in an optimistic light. There is an attractive energy that radiates from positive, grateful people. My hope and goal is to raise children who are  grateful, no matter what!

SO, I’ve been trying to have small conversations with Evie during the day which encourage her to recognize her everyday convinces as extraordinary blessings! 

November seems to be a month when everyone pauses to remember all the “good things” in their life. I want this to be a natural mindset everyday! However, I did jump on the Thanksgiving bandwagon and I borrowed an idea from a friend and constructed a “Thankful tree.”

 Walking into Micheals to get the appropriate supplies to construct this creation, it was a little out of my comfort zone because I can hardly sew on a button. However, I was pleased with how the finished product evolved. It’s a simple construction; a flower pot, a Styrofoam ball, an attractive branch from outside and a few cut out leaves. 

Each day Evie and I sit down and she tells me one thing she is grateful for. The irony of her gratitude though is that it usually reflects and directly contrasts my grumbling, ungrateful heart. 

For example, the refrigerator that was placed smack dab right in the middle of the family room area became her object of gratitude for that day. 

The table that was just stained by dumped nail polish was what she recognized as valuable;

She was grateful the floor...

               the pouring rain outside…

and our couch that desperately needed a vacuum. 
Evie is able to see things and blessings for what they are. 

Her insight and her heart of gratitude humbles me everyday, and I learn from her. 

However, she is human and grumbling and whining and complaining drives John and me to almost the brink of insanity sometimes. Basically, she acts sometimes how adults (i.e.. me) want to act, in a "kicking and screaming sort of way."

Everyone has a choice to focus on the good in people and in circumstances rather than the negative. Our kids notice us. They listen to us. Evie picks up every word, attitude and remark from me. They are little sponges, absorbing it all. It makes me consider what I can be grateful for in every moment. I have a lot.

Rainbows for Africa: Teaching and empowering kids to make a difference

Evelyn still lay awake in bed that damp, chilly fall night. She stared at the ceiling, not satisfied with our simple, routine prayer, a prayer for the hungry to find a meal tonight; a prayer for the kids without beds to have soft place to lay their heads; a request and a hope that everyone would find comfort and warmth tonight.

 Trying to teach my kids about gratitude in a culture of insatiable consumerism, we’ve made it a nightly ritual to pray for those who do not have a bed, or a home or a meal.

“But why, mama…why doesn’t God give them food to eat?” my three year old daughter asked with genuine concern and frustration.

Caught off guard by this sudden question, the silence that followed was a bit awkward and made me realize that I didn’t have a good answer for my pensive daughter. Her question was relevant, real and raw. It addressed a questioned that I think all people ask and struggle with, “why do some people seem to have so much, while others seem to struggle to survive?”  Her unanswered question hung uncomfortably in the dark bedroom.

After discussing this with my husband, we came up with a reasonable answer and a plan. The following morning at breakfast I said, “Evie, you know that question you asked me last night before you went to bed…you know, why do some people have so much and some don’t even have a meal at night?”
She stopped what she was doing and looked at me with expectation in her eyes.

“Well, I want to respond that. You see, not everything in life is exactly fair. We live in a world that is broken. We need to be grateful for the good things we have.”
I could see her veil of innocence being slightly torn away. However, I didn’t want to just stop with giving her facts or mere answers. John and I felt like it was equally important to empower her to do something about it. We wanted to feel the satisfaction of being a small part of a solution.
“You see, when we have more and some people don’t have enough, we are responsible to fill that gap and fix that need with the abundance that has been given to us. It is our job.”

She looked at me, processing all I said. “I want to,” she replied, simply and sincerely. “I want to feed the kids that don’t have anything to eat.”

“Do you want to send them money?” I opened a World Vision magazine that was laying on our table. I pointed to a little African boy with dark, hopeful eyes.

“Yes!” she exclaimed. “I want to help him.”

Right then and there I could have written the check and sent some money in Evie’s name to feed that little boy. However, something in me didn’t feel right about that. Something told me that I wanted Evie to be apart of this process.

“Evie, what can you do to feed this boy?”

She looked confused.

I continued to further explain my reasoning. “Food costs money. Money is earned by working or selling something that people want to buy. Do you have any skills that could earn you money?”

Evie really didn't know how to respond. She looked around the kitchen, searching for an answer to my question.
On our kitchen table were a few half drawn rainbow pictures. Lately she  has spent a lot of her time painting and drawing pictures of rainbows, and sunshines and blue skies.

 She creates each scene with precision and care, each color intentionally added, each cloud and sunshine placed above to create a picture that exudes happiness.  On the bottom, she practices signing her name.
With each attempt, her lines get a little straighter; each stroke her signature becomes more real. Our eyes both fell on the various rainbow pictures on the table.
“These rainbows here make me smile, Evie. What if you drew lots of rainbows and sold them for a dollar and sent all the money to feed that boy in Africa?!”

She looked at me with determination in her dark eyes. “Yes. I want to draw rainbows and send money to Africa.” Immediately she sat down and began meticulously drawing one rainbow postcard after another.

Evie doesn’t know where Africa is, but she understands that there are people in the world who do not have it as comfortable as her. And from that moment on, her mission was drawing rainbows.

She painted and colored and crafted those rainbow postcards every spare moment she had. She loved that little boy in the picture. Each stroke of color was part of a promise that life would get better for him.

We announced to friends and family about Evie’s Africa Rainbow project. Some people jumped right in, sending checks in the mail. Others approached Evie personally, handing her a dollar bill in exchange for one of her rainbows.
“Why are you selling those rainbows Evie?” one woman asked.

“ To buy food for the little boy in Africa.”

She handed Evie her dollar. Evie handed her a rainbow. She happily took the dollar and put it into a jar in the family room.

I am humbled when I think of my three year old daughter. She has more compassion, more enthusiasm and more motivation to do something about the injustice in this world than I do.

 I realized that my simple prayers were incomplete. Faith and vision without action is dead, and Evie’s concern and energy has ignited a renewed sense of hope and enthusiasm in me.

As we go into the holiday season, I encourage us all to replace our good intentioned thoughts and prayers with a verb.

A three year old girl in Tualatin sits at the kitchen table painting rainbows.
A three year old boy in Sudan is finally able to satisfy the ache in his empty stomach.

What rainbows can you paint today?