Summer Breeze makes me feel fine.........

 It was evening, and the mid-July breeze blew ever so slightly from the forest behind us.
John and I sat on our patio table across from our two dear friends.
We were eating amazing steak and drinking red wine.

Our kids played below us in the yard. Their laughs floated upward towards us as they jumped on the trampoline and pushed each other on the swing.
My heart was so content and so happy.

This. is. summer.
                          at its finest, in all its magic, in all its glory. 
Summertime as a child meant being able to go  back outside to play after dinner. It was thrilling.
Actually, it is still thrilling to me.

Summer has been wonderful so far.



Here is a quick snap shot of some perfect summer moments. 

ICE CREAM! Can there be summer without it?!

This summer we've being putting sprinkles at the bottom of the cone so there is less disappointment when we reach the end.  Hmmm... sounds like we could pull some life analogies from this....

Summer Lounging. We finally got some great outdoor furniture this year;
 James has not been shy about making it his own. 

At the end of June, we had cousin week!
 John's brother and family came down from Seattle. The week included a lot of fun outings together such as a hike, led by Gramie, on the 4T trail.

Cousins who hike together, stay together!

We visited  the Oregon Trail museum,

They learned the art of 1800s candle making....

and dressing  fashionably.

We enjoyed a tour of the Pie Factory....

adorned in stylish head wear...

and had pie for lunch!

Not complaining.

A Cousin Sleepover was in order! Cady and Geneva spent the night at our house, all six kids sleeping in the same room.

The night included a movie, 

marshmallow roasting over the charcoal grill,

...and a pancake breakfast buffet in the morning.

Toppings included chocolate chips, granola, blueberries and sprinkles. 

The kids also enjoyed ice cream in Gramie and Grandpa's backyard!

I see a theme developing here....

We took at trip to the Japanese Gardens. 

One of the beautiful places within the garden is a peaceful koi pond. A little bridged pathway leads people over it as they wander, lost in their silent reflections.

However, as I walked over the bridge this afternoon, I noticed that there was quite a commotion ahead. As the crowds parted, I noticed everyone fussing over a boy curled up in a ball on the ground; he seemed to be extremely traumatized.
 A women ran over to me and explained that this boy fell into the koi pond and she pulled him out. The boy was James!
Luckily, the koi pond wasn't deep and James was not injured.  I believe he was embarrassed and overwhelmed. He probably disrupted the perfectly balanced ph environment of the delicate koi fish, but they seemed to be doing ok.
 I picked James up from the commotion and put him on a bench to the side. It was difficult to calm him down; his biggest complaint were his wet, soggy socks.

Once he peeled them off and handed them to me, he was in much better spirits.
We definitely disrupted the serenity of this place, but all in all, I guess it was one for the memory books.

 Berry picking! It wouldn't be summer in Oregon if we didn't spend an afternoon picking (and eating) large amounts of berries (and all getting stomach aches...)

4th of July! Oh my goodness!!!4th of the July was so much fun! 

 We celebrated once again by decorating our bikes for the neighborhood parade.
( Levi decorated the wagon and decided that Dad was going to pull him)

 Sparklers were a hit this year. We had a great fireworks show thanks to some of our friends and neighbors who trekked up to Vancouver to get some fireworks.

 The parade is always exciting for the kids. I think a lot of it has to do with the insane amount of candy that is tossed.

And of course, the neighborhood block party and BBQ is always so much fun.


We took our second annual day trip to Seaside with our community group.
 Blue ice cream seems to be the tradition for James.

I love all these kids and families so much!
I have a vision of doing this same picture when they are all  teenagers.




And then of course there were the simple, free things, like free slurpees at 7 Eleven on 7/11 day!

 Caleb tried to convince me to buy him a popsicle instead, and I told him that was missing the point! 

And free lunches at the park! The boys did a sports camp one week at the park and afterwards we stayed and took advantage of the free lunches, provided by the city.

The chocolate milk is definitely their favorite part.

We partook in water gun fights at the local fountains. Every time I saw Levi and James, their guns seemed to increase in size and power. 

They were not backing down.

One lovely summer evening I packed a picnic dinner and the kids and I enjoyed the Japanese drum show at the park. Caleb was amazed that there is a drum close to the size of himself!

 James just came for the nap and unrestricted access to chips. 

And finally, we always find time to stop and smell the roses (er, Queen Ann's Lace).

I showed the kids how to put them in colored water and turn them different colors. 

Summer is sweet.
And the moments that aren't sweet, I'm trying to appreciate them for what it is, Real Life.

However, I do try to steal and savor the few quiet moments....

And I do mean STEAL.
And I do mean MOMENTs.

Because moments is what they are.

It's not too long after I settle in to my comfy patio chair that someone comes along and requests a train book to be read.

I didn't want that glass of wine and "beach read" anyways...

😉

Part 7: Homesick

It happened about day 10, right after we came back from Bangkok, back to the quiet rural lodge. There was no one around when the taxi pulled up and dropped Emily and I off with our backpacks. Here we were, back at our home base.

It was 2:00, the heat of the day. Our team was off somewhere and it was just the two of us. We unlocked our room, put our backpacks down, and I laid down on my bed, watching the cluster of ants on the ceiling. There was the sign that the gecko had gotten into our room somehow when we were gone; a large dropping lay right in the middle of our entrance.

I listened to the hum of the bugs outside. The heat even seemed to make a sound, baking the earth; lethargy and loneliness sat heavy in my heart.

I released the thoughts I had pushed away throughout my trip. I prevented them from entering my mind so I could be fully present where I was; thoughts of home and my family would create a longing to be there with them.
They began to flood my mind.

I began to feel homesick.


I have certainly had homesickness before. It seems to being with a thought and then manifests itself in physical discomfort.
In third grade I went to my first sleep away camp in the woods in Wisconsin. Some nights I would lay on my top bunk in the dark, surrounded by the sounds of the other sleeping girls and I would ache, my stomach hollow, yearning to be home.


My mission for this trip was to love these children here in Thailand;  I was showing love and indeed I even found that I had true love in my heart for them.


But if I'm honest, as the trip came to an end, it was an effort to continue to be fully present with the kids and show them love.
 This is what they deserved though, so my mission was to do this until the very last minute I had with them.

When I was a teenager, I worked at a horse camp. I remember leading trail rides for the young riders.  When the horse sensed the end of the ride, when it recognized that home was on the horizon, its walk become a trot. It was difficult to restrain the anticipation. I had to constantly instruct my riders to pull back on the reins, a gentle reminder to the horse that the ride is not over yet, and there still is work to be done.

This natural urge to race towards home is called a "homing instinct" and my homing instinct had to be managed in order to finish the trip well.
That was my true heart desire: to finish it well and leave knowing that my focus and energy was dialed in 100% all the time; I wanted to do my mission with all I had in me.

Our big event was still ahead. We had a field day planned, a day of games and ice cream.
It was an extremely hot day and our games started at 2:00.  Everyone on the team paired off to facilitate an activity or game around the field.  Another girl from my team and I were in charge of the parachute.

The kids were divided into teams and rotated the game stations every 20 minutes.

Our first group of kids were full of energy.
It was the heat of the day.
I was lethargic and a bit crabby.
I missed home.
I didn't have the joy I wanted.

 But I wanted to give these kids what they deserved, an afternoon of fun with people who traveled around the world to love them and cheer them on.
So I decided in my heart that was who I was going to be, despite how I felt.

 We put a bunch of beach balls in the middle of the parachute and the kids joyfully tossed them about, laughing and getting more and more aggressive as we waved the parachute up and down.

 The balls went higher; the screams and shrieks got louder.

The sun got hotter. I could feel the beads of sweat running down the back of my leg.

Suddenly someone suggested to the group to put the smallest child, a little girl about the age of six, in the middle of the parachute.
Everyone went along with the idea, and she crawled to the center.
She laughed as all around her the parachute bubbled and danced.
The energy got stronger.
 My friend and I who were leading this game felt threatened that it might overtake us.

Suddenly the little girl was no longer just in the middle on the ground, but she was in the air, being launched into the sky, and landing on the tarp. I pulled with all my strength to ensure that the parachute did not hit the ground; I pulled it with all my might to make sure she had a soft landing.
The mood suddenly became frenzied.
Higher and higher they launched her. They were cheering, chanting, laughing!!
My friend and I looked at each other. We both felt like we were losing control, yet we went along with it because everyone else was having such a good time.
 Both of us tried to soften the girl's landing by pulling the parachute towards us and make it tight.

 In my head I wanted it to stop; I started to feel panicked. I could tell my friend did too.

All of the sudden the energy in the room exploded. The girl was catapulted into the air so high; everyone shrieked.

 When she landed, despite my best efforts, she landed through the parachute, as it suddenly tore.

The laughter stopped and instead there was a massive gasp as she lay on the ground.

We ran to her and cradled her hurt body; now people from all over ran to us, rambling on in a language I didn't understand.
The girl was injured. It wasn't serious, thank goodness, but nonetheless, it was under our watch.

 A ripped, useless parachute lay before us.

The whistle blew; the kids began to rotate to the next group.

Our group of kids ran off to the next station.
The girl limped off to the nearest bench as a teacher hurried over to her aid.
I felt ashamed, ashamed that I lost control and a girl was injured and now our parachute was damaged and useless.
 Before me stood a new group of kids. They were older boys, a bit rowdy, ready to play the game we had planned and were in charge of; but before them was the ripped parachute and we didn't have a plan B.

My friend and I didn't know what to do. 
We couldn't think because our hearts were worried about the girl who was hurt under our watch; 
we were stressed about the broken parachute and the group of kids who continued to flood in ready to play; 
our energy was being carried away by the relentless oppression of the sun's heat. 

The boys began to pick up the beach balls that lay around and throw them at each other, spiking them in each other's faces and trying to out do each other's strength.

In that moment, I had to collect myself and my wandering, worried heart; I had to bring myself back into what I was doing, the reality of the moment and take hold of it. I couldn't give up now.

 I began to toss the beach balls.

 I began to laugh and pour forth everything I had left.
Each beach ball I tossed took a lot of physical and mental and emotional stamina.  Every time I grabbed hold of a new one I had to refuel my heart and mind and fully invest in the boys in front of me and what I was doing.

                                                Finish strong; finish well. 

                                     This continued to be my mantra the remaining few days.

I had to learn to override my feelings and act in spite of them.

I had to act with the greater vision and purpose in mind.

                                                                    And I can say, I did.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The evening I arrived home to Oregon was filled with elation and appreciation for my children.

They held on to me. They were all smiles. I have to say it felt really good to be missed. ;)

However, I knew as the days moved forward and life returned back to normal, those exaggerated feelings of joy would fade. I would again struggle with fatigue, boredom and frustration.
 I would let my emotions and my mood take hold and take charge.
 They would control me, as they so often did.

One of the reasons I've found time-mostly in the early mornings before the kids get up- to write down all my experiences in Thailand was because I feel them leaving me.

 Jumping right back into my life here, I knew that if I didn't record all that I experienced it would be gone and I didn't want that to be it.

I didn't want to lose the perspective and insight I gained.
I needed to reflect on the really difficult parts of the trip and remember how I was able to overcome and even thrive regardless of my physical and emotional state.

My time in Thailand was an investment not only in the kids in the safe homes, but an investment in myself, which then directly affects my family and those around me.

Going through my life the last seven years since having my children-(five since the triplets) I feel like I've been a prisoner to my emotions.
I believe Thailand gave me practice in being present, working hard, and being grateful.

 I went to Thailand to reconnect to myself, who I felt like I've lost in the chaos of family and kids;
instead, I  realized much of who I am  is very much connected to who I left behind at home.

Part 6: Elephants!

While in Chiang Mai, we spent one of our final afternoons doing what the tourists do:
                                   we played with elephants!

 Maesa Elephant camp is one of the largest elephant sanctuaries in Northern Thailand.

Their goal is to help repopulate the Asian Elephants in Thailand. They also give people a personal encounter with these beautiful creatures.

Throughout the centuries, Asian elephants have played an important role in the history and development of Thailand.
I honestly didn't know how I felt about these beautiful animals being taken from their natural home in the Thailand jungle to be bred and trained in captivity.

I admired their strength and beauty. I am more captivated and in awe of elephants than I ever was before after spending this afternoon with them.

This sanctuary claims to  protect the elephants from ivory poachers, people who kill elephants for their valuable tusk material. It also says it helps populate and maintain the elephant species.

I have to say, the elephants seem to be truly valued, loved and cared for at Maesa.
Each elephant is paired up with a caretaker from their birth. This person cares and trains the elephant for their entire life.
They are called mahouts.
 They know their elephant and their elephant knows them.  Their relationship seems to be really special.

The elephants know their mahout and share a special  bond. 

One of the highlights was watching the mahouts lead their elephant to the nearby river for  a refreshing bath.

Emily and I shared the back of one elephant for a ride through the jungle and nearby village.

If the elephant wanted to stop to eat, they were allowed.

A quick stop for a snack

Our view as we descended into the village on the back of our elephant

Jungle walk. Can anything be more exotic?!!

This path made us a bit nervous....

The gathering of elephants for a ride of a lifetime!

We also saw an elephant show. The elephants played soccer, danced and even painted a picture! The pictures were beautiful and sold for hundreds of dollars.

The paintings they were able to create were absolutely amazing!

Like I said earlier, I have mixed feelings about these elephants in captivity being trained to preform tricks and dances. However, it is what it is right now, and I truly appreciated the experience.
My hope is that some good is able to come from it.

Here I am getting a sloppy kiss from Mr. Elephant.

Such a fun day!